Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Vol 58, No. 357, July 1845Various
History
Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Vol 58, No. 357, July 1845
Various
England -- Periodicals; Scotland -- Periodicals
laughed, it was with tears in her eyes, elicited by one she detected in
the shy averted orbs of his. Yet was the sweetness of the little Welsh
girl left behind, for a long time, even when manhood failed to banish
its idea, no more than his statue to Pygmalion, or his watery image to
Narcissus. But having no female society, save those marketable forms
that he distrusted and despised; yet pining, in his romantic refinement,
for _pure_ passion--for reciprocal passion--panting to be loved _for
himself alone_, he kept imagining her developed graces, exaggerating the
conceit of some childish tenderness toward himself, his position and his
nervous infirmity keeping a solitude of soul and heart ever round him,
into which no female form had free and constant admission, but that
aerial one, the little Winifred, of far, far off, green Wales! The
promise of pure beauty, which her childhood gave, his _dream_ fulfilled;
and his imagination seized and cherished the beautiful cloud, painted by
fancy, till it became the goddess of his idolatry, though conscious of
the self-delusion, and retained with that tenacity conceivable, perhaps,
to the morbidly sensitive alone. The habit of yielding to the
importunity of one idea, strengthens itself; every recurrence of it
produces quicker sensibility to the next; deeper and deeper impression
follows, till one form of mania supervenes--that which consists in the
undue mastery and eternal presence of one idea.
Childish and _fugitive_ as it _seemed_, a passion had actually commenced
in his _boy's_ heart, which clung to that of the man, though under the
same light, fragile, and dreamlike form. Poetry might liken it to the
mere frothy foam of the infant cataract, when it gushes out of the
breast of the mountain to the rising sun, which, arrested by an intense
frost, ere it can fall, in the very act of evanishing, there hangs,
still hangs, the mere air-bubbles congealed into crystal vesicles,
defying all the force of the mounted sun to dissipate their delicate
white beauty, evanescent as it _looks_. The chill and the
impenetrability of heart, kept by circumstances within him, such frost
might typify--that pure, fragile-seeming, yet durable passion, that
snow-foam of the waterfall. True it was that this fantastic fancy had
the power to draw him to his Welsh patrimony earlier than worldly
ambition would have warranted. But his after conduct--his actual
overtures were not so wildly romantic, as might appear from the
foregoing narrative; but of this in the sequel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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