Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Vol. 63, No. 388, February 1848Various
History
Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Vol. 63, No. 388, February 1848
Various
England -- Periodicals; Scotland -- Periodicals
“‘And so they ought, Adam. Is there a God? Has he really revealed
himself? Are the Scriptures true? Am I the true servant of a true
master? If to all this you say _yea_—speak not again distrustfully.
If you do—if you so think—then are you too like to be beyond the
pale of mercy. I am free, Adam,—you are bound,—yet are both our
lives every instant at the command and absolute disposal of Him who
gave them, that we might be on trial here for a little while. For
aught I know, I may even yet die before you, and with greater pain
and grief; but both of us must die, and much of my life is gone for
ever. As your frail fellow-mortal, then, I beseech you to listen to
me! Our mode of leaving life is ordered by God, even as our mode of
living in it. To some he hath ordained riches, others poverty; some
pleasure, others misery, in this life; but all for reasons, and with
objects best known, nay, known only to himself! Adam, you have now
been four days here beyond that which had been appointed you—now
that we are alone, have you aught to confide to me, as the minister
for whom you have sent? What saith my Master? If you confess your
sins, he is faithful and just to forgive you; but if you say that
you have no sin, you deceive yourself, and the truth is not in you.
And if that last be so, Adam, what shall be said of you, what can be
hoped for you?’
“‘If you be thinking of that deed for which I am condemned,’ said
Ayliffe, with a sudden radiant countenance, ‘then am I easy and
happy. God, my maker, and who will be my judge, knoweth whether I
speak the truth. Ay! ay! innocent am I of this deed as you!’
“‘It is right, Adam, that I should tell you that all mankind who
know of your case, from the highest down to the lowest, do believe
you guilty.’
“‘Ah, sir, is not that hard to bear?’ said Ayliffe, with a grievous
sigh, and a countenance that looked unutterable things.
“‘It is, Adam—it is hard; yet, were it harder, it must be borne.
Here is Lord Milverstoke, who hath lost his son—his only son—the
heir to his title and his vast possessions—lost him in this
mysterious and horrid way: is not _that_ hard to be borne? Have you,
Adam,—I ask you by your precious hopes of hereafter,—animosity
towards him who believes you to be his son’s murderer?’
“There was an awful silence for nearly a minute, at the close of
which Ayliffe, with an anguished face, said—
“‘Oh, sir! give me time to answer you! Pray for me! I know whose
example I ought to imitate; but’—he suddenly seemed to have sunk
into a reverie, which lasted for some time, at the end of
which,—‘Sir—Mr Hylton,’ said he desperately, ‘_am_ I truly to die on
Monday week? Oh, tell me! tell me, sir! Life is sweet, I own!’
“He sprung towards Mr Hylton, and convulsively grasped his hands,
looking into his face with frenzied earnestness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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