"How, sir?" I enquired. "What have I done?" "Where are the subscriptions that were due last Saturday?" "Not yet collected, sir." "What money have you belonging to the society?" "Not a sixpence, sir." "Young man," continued the lusty president in a solemn voice, "you are in a woeful state; you are living in the world without _a security_." "What is the matter, sir." "Matter!" echoed the gentleman.--"Matter with a man that has lost his security! Are you positive you have got no funds about you? Just look into your pocket, my friend, and make sure." "I have nothing, sir. Pray, tell me what I have done?" "Young man, holding the office that I hold, feeling as I feel, and knowing what I know, it would be perfect madness in me to have any thing to do with a man who has been given over by his security. Don't you understand me? Isn't that very good English? Mr Clayton will have nothing more to say to you. The society gives you warning." "May I not be informed, sir, why I am so summarily dismissed?" "Why, my good fellow, what is the matter with you? You seem remarkably stupid this morning. I can't beat about the bush with you. You must go." "Without having committed a fault?" I added, mournfully. "Sir," said the distinguished president, looking libraries at me, "when one mortal has become security for another mortal, and suddenly annuls and stultifies his bond, to say that the other mortal has committed a _fault_ is just to call brandy--_water_. Sir," continued Mr Bombasty, adjusting his India cravat, "that man has perpetrated a crime--a crime _primy facey--exy fishio_." I saw that my time was come, and I said nothing. "If," said Mr Bombasty, "you had lost your intellect, I am a voluntary contributor, and could have got you chains and a keeper in Bedlam. If you had broken a limb, I am a life-governor, and it would have been a pleasure to me to send you to the hospital. But you may as well ask me to put life into a dead man, as to be of service to a creature who has lost his security. You had better die at once. It would be a happy release. I speak as a friend." "Thank you, sir," said I. "I hear complaints against you, but I don't listen to them. Every thing is swallowed up in one remarkable fact. Your security has let you down. You must go about your business. I speak as the president of this Christian society, and not, I hope, without the feelings of a man. The treasurer will pay your salary immediately, and we dispense with your services." "What am I to do?" I asked, half aloud. "Just the best you can," answered the gentleman. "The audience is at an end."