Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine — Volume 53, No. 330, April 1843Various
Science
Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine — Volume 53, No. 330, April 1843
Various
England -- Periodicals; Scotland -- Periodicals
is never so plausible and prevailing as when it takes the place of
gratified passion. Never are we so firmly resolved upon good, as in
the moment that follows instantly the doing of evil. Never is
conscience louder in her complaints than when she rises from a
temporary overthrow. I had discovered every thing to Miss Fairman. I
had fatally committed myself. There was no doubt of this; and
nothing was left for present consolation but sapient resolutions for
the future. Virtuous and fixed they looked in my silent chamber and
in the silent hour of night. Morning had yet to dawn, and they had
yet to contend with the thousand incitements which our desires are
ever setting up to battle with our better judgment. I did not write
to Mr. Fairman, but I rose from my seat much comforted, and softened
my midnight pillow with the best intentions.
Fancy might have suggested to me, on the following morning, that the
eyes of Miss Fairnan had been visited but little by sleep, and that
her face was far more pallid than usual, if her parent had not
remarked, with much anxiety, when she took her place amongst us,
that she was looking most weary and unwell. Like the sudden
emanation that crimsons all the east, the beautiful and earliest
blush of morning, came the driven blood into the maiden's cheek,
telling of discovery and shame. Nothing she said in answer, but
diligently pursued her occupation. I could perceive that the fair
hand trembled, and that the gentle bosom was disquieted. _I_ could
tell why downwards bent the head, and with what new emotions the
artless spirit had become acquainted. Instantly I saw the mischief
which my rashness had occasioned, and felt how deeply had fallen the
first accents of love into the poor heart of the secluded one. What
had I done by the short, indistinct, most inconsiderate avowal, and
how was it possible now to avert its consequences? Every tender and
uneasy glance that Mr. Fairman cast upon his cherished daughter,
passed like a sting to me, and roused the bitterest self-reproach. I
could have calmed his groundless fears, had I been bold enough to
risk his righteous indignation. The frankness and cordiality which
had ever marked my intercourse with Miss Fairman, were from this
hour suspended. Could it be otherwise with one so innocent, so
truthful, and so meek! Anger she had none, but apprehension and
conceptions strange, such as disturb the awakened soul of woman, ere
the storm of passion comes to overcharge it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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