After the serving men, with some difficulty, had brought in the supper,
consisting of enormous joints of meat, hot and cold, and deposited on the
sideboard vast tankards of strong ale and other potent beverages, Mr
Peeper rose, and folding his hands across his breast, and bending forward
his head with every appearance of devotion, muttered some words evidently
intended to represent a grace; but so indistinct that it was utterly
impossible to make the slightest guess at their meaning, whereupon they
all fell to with prodigious activity, and cut and slashed the enormous
dishes as if they had been famished for a year. Mr Lutter, after making an
observation that true thankfulness was as much shown by moderate enjoyment
of good gifts as by long prayers said over them, made a most powerful
assault on the cold sirloin, and, of all the party, was the only one who
had the politeness to send a helping to Jane. She was tired and hungry,
and felt really obliged by the attention, but could scarcely do justice to
the viands from surprise at the conversation of the guests.
"Ho, ho!" said Sir Bryan de Barreilles, "I once knew a thing--such a thing
it was too--ho! ho!" And partly the vividness of the recollection, and
principally an enormous mouthful of beef, produced a long fit of
coughing--"'twill make you laugh," he continued--"'twas a rare feat--ho!
ho!--even this lady will be pleased to hear it."
Jane bowed in expectation of an amusing anecdote.
"One of my tenants was going to be married; his bride was a very young
creature, not more than eighteen, and on the wedding-day, as I always was
ready for a joke in those days--ah! 'tis thirty years ago, or more--I
asked the bridal party to the Tower. Ho! ho! such laughing we had!--Giles
Mallet and Robin Henslow fought with redhot brands out of the fire, till I
thought we should all have died; and Giles--the cleverest fellow and the
wittiest, ho! ho!--such a fellow was Giles!--he took up the poker instead
of the fir-log, and watched his opportunity, ho! ho!--it was redhot too--a
good stout poker as ever you saw--and ran it clean through his cheek--you
heard the tongue fizz! as it licked the hot iron--'twas a famous play. How
Robin roared, to be sure, and couldn't speak plain--ho! ho! Well, the
games went on; and nothing would please some of the young ones but we
should see the Oubliette. 'Twas a dark hole where my forefathers
imprisoned their refractory vassals, and sad stories were told about
it--how that voices were heard from the bottom of it, and groans, and
sometimes gory heads were seen at the top of it, looking up to the
skylight, and struggling to escape, but ever tumbling back into the deep
dark hole, with screams and smothered cries; a rare place for a man's
enemies--but it had not been used for many years. Well--nothing would do,
but when we were all merry with ale, we should all go and see the
Oubliette, and a kiss of the bride was promised to the one who should go
down the furthest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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