"I heard yesterday from my dear Misis. I have not heard to-day. It
brings back all my uneasiness. Has he slept well to-night? is he not
fatigued? I hope he has nothing else to complain of but ennui. My dear
Misis, I do not doubt that you think of your dear Fanny, of her grief,
her love, her impatience. Tell me the day, then, the day I so long for,
that is to bring you back to me again. All my thoughts turn only to you.
Nothing has any interest for me that is not in some way or other
connected with you. I rejoice in seeing the fine weather, for I think
you can now enjoy a walk. I hate the heat, for it keeps you from
exercise, and may make you ill. The moment I feel the slightest zephyr,
I long to send it to you. I wish there was even a tempest for your sake.
I would make the very elements do your bidding. I wish that every thing
in nature may only serve to make you happy, my dear Misis. How much does
she not owe him, since he has painted her so well? He makes her still
more beautiful by the light of his own soul--that soul fired at once by
genius and by love. You write such beautiful things, and I can't see
them! I have no pleasure in life. I have no consolation left, but the
hope of our meeting soon. To-day I passed the morning with your mother.
She pities me. We spoke of nothing but you. She told me some anecdotes
of your childhood that amused me much. You must have been interesting
even then. At four years old, I really believe I should have fallen in
love with you. I like every thing that belongs to you; I feel as if they
brought me nearer to yourself. She and your sister send you a thousand
loves, and your brother also, who supped here this evening. They talked
a great deal of Homer, Greek, Latin, &c. My dear aunt and uncle were
delighted with him, and think him very clever. It is now midnight. I am
in my couch--my solitary couch--far from thee. Alas! nothing which you
see where you now are can remind you of love. Love dwells not in
palaces. I have nothing but your heart to rely on to recall me to your
mind. Adieu, my dear Misis--adieu, my little man! I send you a thousand
kisses. Ah! Why am I not in your arms?
"This morning, when I was just going to seal my letter, Murgi brought me
yours. Ah, how sorry I am! I feel more than ever that my heart is not
made for these lengthened separations. No, I can't exist absent from
what I adore. I tried to reason myself into submission for five days;
but how am I to endure the fifteen that it will be now? Pity me, dear
Misis. It is delightful to me to see that your regret is equal to mine;
but the more you make me love you, the greater is my grief. If any thing
could lessen the sorrow caused me by your letter, it is to hear that you
are well. The assurance of that gives me one grief less. Take care of
yourself, for my sake. I can't understand how the letter I wrote you on
Sunday has not reached you yet. Write to me often, if 'tis but one word.
I embrace you again--Your Fanny."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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