_dealer_ to keep his customers waiting; but, whenever one wants any thing, one can always afford to wait a little, and Jack informed us that he had learned from the padre's servant that his master always dines in a quarter of an hour. The quarter of an hour up, we send again, but our messenger comes back empty-handed. "Well, where is your friend?" "He no friend of mine, sir! He very angry! Not my fault, sir," "Angry? what is he angry about?" "Because I say to him only this, sir--'_Other_ priest ask gentleman _too much_--hope you not _very dear too_, sir;' to which he say, '_You damn fool_, I don't sell coins!' _Den_ I beg his pardon, and he ask me sharply, '_Who_ say I sell coins?' 'Sir,' I say, 'all the whole world say so.' Den he say, '_D--n all the whole world_; and when any body tell you this again, say Abate _Rizzi_ call him a d----d fool, and say he may go to h-ll!!!'" "Abate Rizzi!! why, that is the _Professor of Eloquence_ to whom we were to be introduced yesterday." "Yes, sir," says Jack, "and here he comes," glancing up the street. We now see a personage, whose staid deportment and gait declare him to be much beyond the age when it may be thought allowable to swear. "You rascal, you have been telling us a lie; that gentleman could never have said, damn the whole world." "He did not speak it in _English, sir_." "Not speak it in English? why, what did he say?" "Sir, he say, '_Cazzo! questa e una minchioneria!_' that means 'damn fool,' sir,--'_dettia tutti d' andare al diavolo_,' that be the same as tell every body go to h-ll!!" (the translation in this case we thought not _so_ bad;) we had not, however, time to discuss the matter, for the Professor of Eloquence, who had indulged our servant _pro re nata_ with so very unusual a specimen of his art, was at our elbow. We saluted him courteously, but offended dignity was apparent in a grave face of considerable _church_ power; we therefore subjoined to the ordinary salutation much regret at the awkwardness of our guide, and apologised for intruding on his repose; which apologies, and further explanations, immediately changed the current in our favour. Jack, too, regretted he had been so indiscreet as to be misled by _current reports_; but _this_ was to rouse the calmed resentment into a new explosion. "_Who_," he demanded, in very Demosthenic accents--"_who_ had dared to affirm that he had ever sold a coin?" We went in, saw his very beautiful collection, the Professor himself doing the honours with so much obligingness, that we left him convinced that he neither sold coin nor dispensed anathemas. EAR OF DIONYSIUS. "Lautumias Syracusanas omnes audistis; plerique nostis. Opus est ingens magnificum regumac tyrannorum. Totum est ex saxo in mirandam altitudenem depresso, et multorum operis penitus exciso. Nihil tam clausum ad exitus, nihil tam septum undique, nihil tam tutum ad custodias, nec fieri nec cogitari potest."