"'To divert my mind,' says Mr Bullfrog, who tells his own story, 'I took up the newspaper which had covered the little basket of refreshments, and which now lay at the bottom of the coach, blushing with a deep red stain, and emitting a potent spirituous fume, from the contents of the broken bottle of _kalydor_. The paper was two or three years old, but contained an article of several columns, in which I soon grew wonderfully interested. It was the report of a trial for breach of promise of marriage, giving the testimony in full, with fervid extracts from both the gentleman's and lady's amatory correspondence. The deserted damsel had personally appeared in court, and had borne energetic evidence to her lover's perfidy, and the strength of her blighted affections. On the defendant's part, there had been an attempt, though insufficiently sustained, to blast the plaintiff's character, and a plea, in mitigation of damages, on account of her unamiable temper. A horrible idea was suggested by the lady's name. "'Madam,' said I, holding the newspaper before Mrs Bullfrog's eyes--and though a small, delicate, and thin visaged man, I feel assured that I looked very terrific--'Madam,' repeated I, through my shut teeth, 'were you the plaintiff in this cause?' "'Oh my dear Mr Bullfrog,' replied my wife sweetly, 'I thought all the world knew that!' "'Horror! horror!' exclaimed I, sinking back on the seat. "Covering my face with both hands, I emitted a deep groan, as if my tormented soul were rending me asunder. I, the most exquisitely fastidious of men, and whose wife was to be the most delicate and refined of women, with all the fresh dew-drops glittering on her virgin rosebud of a heart! I thought of the glossy ringlets and pearly teeth--I thought of the kalydor--I thought of the coachman's bruised ear and bloody nose--I thought of the tender love-secrets, which she had whispered to the judge and jury, and a thousand tittering auditors--and gave another groan! "'Mr Bullfrog,' said my wife. "As I made no reply, she gently took my hands within her own, removed them from my face, and fixed her eyes steadfastly on mine. "'Mr Bullfrog,' said she, not unkindly, yet with all the decision of her strong character, 'let me advise you to overcome this foolish weakness, and prove yourself, to the best of your ability, as good a husband as I will be a wife. You have discovered, perhaps, some little imperfections in your bride. Well, what did you expect? Women are not angels.' "'But why conceal these imperfections?' interposed I, tremulously. "'Now, my love, are you not a most unreasonable little man?' said Mrs Bullfrog, patting me on the cheek. 'Ought a woman to expose her frailties earlier than on the wedding day? Well, what a strange man you are! Pooh! you are joking.'