LOVELL.--May-Bee was a pretty piece of goods though. I saw the poor thing break her back last spring, under Jack Fisher of the carabineers: Jack nearly went out at the same time. Devilish sharply contested thing, till poor May-Bee's accident. Jack was picked up,--dreadful fall, as the papers said--gallant captain--small hopes of recovery--be universally regretted through the regiment--popular qualities--and that sort of thing; but somehow he marched to Nottingham at the head of his troop, a fortnight after, worth fifty dead men. PIPECLAY.--What do you value a dead man at, Lovell? O'SHEEVO.--If a thing's worth what it'll _fetch_, a dead man's value wouldn't burst the Exchequer. LOVELL.--Thank you, Major, for getting me out of that; the Adjutant was going to bring me up rather straitly. O'SHEEVO.--He's the very boy to do that. A bigoted ram's horn under his hands, would be forced to relinquish its prejudices. Nobody stoops to conquer in his academy. Send for another jug, and we'll go on with our discussion. Smart letter that of the old Duke's. OLDHAM.--Who'll be commander-in-chief when the old Briton dies? PIPECLAY.--It'll depend upon the ministry of the day, which I hope will be a distant one. If he could only anticipate his posthumous fame now, how complete would be his glory. O'SHEEVO.--Sure, he's got his posthumous fame already: he's not obliged, like the ancients, to immortalise himself by committing suicide. LOVELL.--Certainly not, Major. Well, you know the Duke sees the necessity of defending our coasts-- PIPECLAY.--And of increasing the army. I have a plan of my own for raising men, which I shall propose, some day or other, to the Horse Guards. OLDHAM.--There's no difficulty in getting men; any quantity may be raised in Ireland. O'SHEEVO.--That's true, because any quantity are knocked over every day there; but they, poor men! are beyond the skill of even an adjutant. PIPECLAY.--At any rate I should like to give my system a fair trial. O'SHEEVO.--I have no opinion of systems; I've known many men entirely ruined by them. PIPECLAY.--How so, Major? O'SHEEVO.--Why, I knew a man who used to get a little jolly two or three times a-week, as occasion invited. Some well-meaning friends reproached him with the irregularity of his life, and pestered him to adopt a system, which, for the sake of peace and quietness, he at last did, and got blazing drunk every night; his own spirit didn't like the foreign invasion, and evacuated the place--that was system! LOVELL.--We don't much relish the idea of foreign invasion ourselves. PIPECLAY.--Let 'em come. If they intend to get a regular footing here, they would probably make a dash at Portland island. OLDHAM.--Now my idea is this. Suppose them embarked in steamers, and starting for a point on our coast,--a few old fellows, who know what Frenchmen are made of, are stationed at all the landing-places, while a railway communication enables them to be quickly collected in one point.