"Nay, that's true, enough!" chimed in the Doctor: "I by no means vindicate our friend. He is sufficiently tiresome upon occasion, I allow." "It is very easy for those who never wrote a line to pass criticisms upon the works of others," said I. "Works? railway works, you mean," said the Spaniard. "Allow me to tell you, my fine fellow," replied I, "that I will back myself for any given sum to write a tale against you on any possible subject; and you may lay the locality, if you please, in your favourite Spain, though I know no more about it than I do of Timbuctoo." "And I," said Zumala, "will knock under to no man, not even Alexander Dumas, for invention. So the sooner we begin the better." "Well, then, fix your subject. Shall it be at the siege of Salamanca?" "In order that you may pilfer right and left from military memoirs, I suppose. Thank you--I am not quite so foolish!" "Take your own ground, then. Where shall it be? Asia, Africa, America, or New Zealand, if you like it better." "By no means let us interfere with G. P. R. James. He has taken the convicts under his own especial charge. Let us say America, North or South, and I leave it to you to select the century." "I won't have any thing to do with Fenimore Cooper's Redskins," said I. "Your gipsy practice would give you a decided advantage in portraying the fiery eyes of a Crow or a Delaware Indian, glaring through a sumach bush. Besides, I hate all that rubbish about wampum and moccassins. But if you like to try your hand at a Patagonian tale, or even a touch at the Snapping Turtle or Cypress Swamp, though that is more in your line, I assure you I have no objection." "Let me mediate," said the Doctor. "The whole of this discussion seems to have arisen out of to-night's performances at Astley's, and I don't see why you should not avail yourselves of a ready-made hint. There is the Inca and his bride,--a capital suggestive subject. Take that as the groundwork of your tales and pitch them in the days of Pizarro." "Very well," said I--"only let us start in a mutual state of ignorance. It is many years since I have read a word about the Incas, and I do not mean to refresh my knowledge. What is your amount of preparation, Hidalgo?" "Precisely the same as yours." "So far good. But--harkye--who is to decide between us?" "The public, of course." "But then, reflect--_two_ tales upon the same subject! Why, nobody will have patience to read them!" "Couldn't you try chapter about?" suggested the Doctor. "A capital idea!" cried the Spaniard. "I am going down to Greenwich to-morrow for a white-bait party, so you have a clear day to begin with. We shall write it alternately, after the manner of the Virgilian eclogues." "_Arcades ambo_," quoth the Doctor. "Well, good-night, lads, and see that you work out one another's ideas handsomely. I shall step into the club for half an hour, and have a glass of cold brandy and water."