Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Volume 65, No. 403, May, 1849Various
History
Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Volume 65, No. 403, May, 1849
Various
England -- Periodicals; Scotland -- Periodicals
Thenceforward Mrs Meredith spoke no more, but she mechanically
followed all my prescriptions. Stretched upon her bed of suffering,
she seemed constantly to sleep; but at whatever moment I said to her,
even in my lowest whisper, "Drink this," she instantly obeyed; thus
proving to me that the soul kept its weary watch in that motionless
body, without a single instant of oblivion and repose.
There were none beside myself to attend to the interment of William.
Nothing positive was ever known as to the cause of his death. The sum
he was to bring from the town was not found upon him; perhaps he had
been robbed and murdered; perhaps the money, which was in notes, had
fallen from his pocket when he was thrown from his horse, and, as it
was some time before any thought of seeking it, the heavy rain and
trampled mud might account for its disappearance. A fruitless
investigation was made and soon dropped. I endeavoured to learn from
Eva Meredith if her family, or that of her husband, should not be
written to. I had difficulty in obtaining an answer. At last she gave
me to understand that I had merely to inform their agent, who would do
whatever was needful. I hoped that, at least from England, some
communication would arrive, decisive of this poor creature's future
lot. But no; day followed day, and none seemed to know that the widow
of William Meredith lived in utter isolation, in a poor French
village. To endeavour to bring back Eva to the sense of her existence,
I urged her to leave her bed. Upon the morrow I found her up, dressed
in black; but she was the ghost of the beautiful Eva Meredith. Her
hair was parted in bands upon her pale forehead, and she sat near a
window, motionless as she had lain in bed.
I passed long silent evenings with her, a book in my hand for apparent
occupation. Each day, on my arrival, I addressed to her a few words of
sympathy. She replied by a thankful look; then we remained silent. I
waited an opportunity to open a conversation; but my awkwardness and
my respect for her grief prevented my finding one, or suffered it to
escape when it occurred. Little by little I grew accustomed to this
mute intercourse; and, besides, what could I have said to her? My
chief object was to prevent her feeling quite alone in the world; and,
obscure as was the prop remaining, it still was something. I went to
see her merely that my presence might say, "I am here."
It was a singular epoch in my life, and had a great influence on my
future existence. Had I not shown so much regret at the threatened
destruction of the white cottage, I would hurry to the conclusion of
this narrative. But you have insisted upon knowing why that building
is hallowed to me, and I must tell you therefore what I have thought
and felt beneath its humble roof. Forgive me, ladies, if my words are
grave. It is good for youth to be sometimes a little saddened; it has
so much time before it to laugh and to forget.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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