Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Volume 65, No. 403, May, 1849Various
History
Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Volume 65, No. 403, May, 1849
Various
England -- Periodicals; Scotland -- Periodicals
Never did I witness grief nobler in its simplicity, calmer in its
intensity, than that of Eva Meredith. She forgot not to pray to the
God who chastened her. For her, God was the being in whose hands are
the springs of hope, when earthly hopes are extinct. Her look of faith
remained fixed upon her child's brow, as if awaiting the arrival of
the soul her prayers invoked. I cannot describe the courageous
patience of that mother speaking to her son, who listened without
understanding. I cannot tell you all the treasures of love, of
thought, of ingenious narrative she displayed before that torpid
intelligence, which repeated, like an echo, the last of her gentle
words. She explained to him heaven, God, the angels; she endeavoured
to make him pray, and joined his hands, but she could not make him
raise his eyes to heaven. In all possible shapes she tried to give him
the first lessons of childhood; she read to him, spoke to him, placed
pictures before his eyes--had recourse to music as a substitute for
words. One day, making a terrible effort, she told William the story
of his father's death; she hoped, expected a tear. The child fell
asleep whilst yet she spoke: tears were shed, but they fell from the
eyes of Eva Meredith.
Thus did she exhaust herself by vain efforts, by a persevering
struggle. That she might not cease to hope, she continued to toil; but
to William's eyes pictures were merely colours; to his ears words were
but noise. The child, however, grew in stature and in beauty. One who
had seen him but for an instant would have taken the immobility of his
countenance for placidity. But that prolonged and continued calm, that
absence of all grief, of all tears, had a strange and sad effect upon
us. Suffering must indeed be inherent in our nature, since William's
eternal smile made every one say, "The poor idiot!" Mothers know not
the happiness concealed in the tears of their child. A tear is a
regret, a desire, a fear; it is life, in short, which begins to be
understood. Alas! William was content with everything. All day long he
seemed to sleep with his eyes open; anger, weariness, impatience, were
alike unknown to him. He had but one instinct: he knew his mother--he
even loved her. He took pleasure in resting on her knees, on her
shoulder; he kissed her. When I kept him long away from her, he
manifested a sort of anxiety. I took him back to his mother; he showed
no joy, but he was again tranquil. This tenderness, this faint
glimmering of William's heart, was Eva's life. It gave her strength
to strive, to hope, to wait. If her words were not understood, at
least her kisses were! How often she took her son's head in her hands
and kissed his forehead, as long and fervently as if she hoped her
love would warm and vivify his frozen soul! How often did she dream a
miracle whilst clasping her son in her arms, and pressing his still
heart to her burning bosom! Often she lingered at night in the village
church.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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