When I said, in the commencement of this letter, that I was swearing
before the committees, I made use of a wrong term. We are not sworn--not
even examined on soul, or on conscience, or on honour; and I must say
that the recollection of that circumstance is sometimes a great comfort
when I lie in bed awake of nights. What is technically termed at
Westminster, engineering evidence, would, I am afraid, were an oath to
be interposed, become very like the thing called perjury; which, not to
mention its effect on a future state of existence, is popularly supposed
in Scotland to bring one under the unpleasant but especial attention of
the High Court of Justiciary. The beauty of the present system is, that
it gives ample scope and rein to the imagination without imposing any
restrictive fetters upon the conscience. It allows a fair latitude for
that difference of opinion which always must prevail amongst
professional gentlemen, and relieves them from whatever qualms they
might otherwise have left in replying without any hesitation--the
leading quality of a witness--to questions upon subjects of which they
are utterly and entirely ignorant. I have found this advantage in my own
case. I am positive that I could not, had I been on oath, have given any
satisfactory evidence as to the amount of the bathing traffic on the
line; though I certainly admit that I have sometimes of a Saturday
afternoon sauntered along the shore with a cigar, to enjoy the _posés
plastiques_ of our northern aquatic Nereids. But as all such formality
was dispensed with, I had no hesitation in stating the numbers of the
amphibious animals, male and female, at eight hundred per hour during
seven months of the year; which, on an average of nine hours a day, and
at the rate of sixpence a head, would increase the income of the company
by about £37,800 per annum. Such was one item of my evidence yesterday,
for the clearness and accuracy of which I was politely complimented by
the chairman. I must say, however, that I think Switches went rather too
far when he valued poor Pertinax’s garden land at less than half-a-crown
per acre. I can make every allowance for enthusiasm; but surely, surely
this was pushing the principle a little to the extreme. One ought always
to preserve, even for the sake of our employers and paymasters, some
little semblance of probability. I do not object to an engineer stating
in evidence that he is ready to tunnel Ben Nevis, throw a suspension
bridge, over the Queensferry, or convert Lochlomond into a green and
fertile meadow. All these--as Switches once observed with consummate
coolness when badgered about the draining of a quicksand--are mere
matters of estimate; but I like facts when we can have them; and had I
been questioned on the subject, I think I should have been inclined to
have allowed an additional shilling for the land.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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