Blade-O'-Grass. Golden Grain. and Bread and Cheese and Kisses.Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
General
Blade-O'-Grass. Golden Grain. and Bread and Cheese and Kisses.
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
Christmas stories; Fiction
'Why can't Saul Fielding help himself?' she retorts, half angrily,
half pityingly. 'There was stuff enough in him once--at all events I
thought so.'
'Show me the way!' he cries; but lowers his tone instantly, and says
humbly, 'I beg your pardon, Mrs. Naldret, for speaking in that manner.
It's ungrateful of me to speak like that to any of George's friends.
and least of all to his mother, that George loves like the apple of
his eye.'
'So he does, dear lad,' says the grateful woman, 'and it does my heart
good to hear you say so. But you've nothing to be grateful to me for,
Saul. I've never done you any good; it's never been in my power.'
'Yes, you have, and it has been in your power, Mrs. Naldret. Why, it
was only last week that you offered me----'
'What you wouldn't take,' she interrupts hastily; 'so you don't know
if I meant it. Let be! Let be!'
'----That you offered me food,' he continues steadily. 'But it's like
you and yours to make light of it. You've never done me any good! Why,
you're George's mother, and you brought him into the world! And I owe
him more than my life--ay, more than my life!'
'I know the friendship there was between you and George,' she says,
setting the strength of his words to that account, 'and that George
loved you like a brother. More's the pity, because of that, that you
are as you are.'
'It is so,' he assents meekly; 'but the milk's spilt; I can't pick it
up again.'
'Saul, Saul! you talk like a woman!'
'Do I?' he asks tenderly, and looking into her face with respect and
esteem in his eyes. 'Then there's some good left in me. I know one who
is stronger than I am, better, wiser, than a hundred such as I--and I
showed my appreciation of her goodness and her worth by doing her
wrong. Show my face like a man! I ought to hide it, as the moles do,
and show my contempt for myself by flying from the sight of men!'
Filled with compassion, she turns her face from him so that she may
not witness his grief.
'She is the noblest, the best of women!' he continues. 'In the face of
God, I say it. Standing here, with His light shining upon me, with His
keen wind piercing me to my bones (but it is just!), I bow to her,
although I see her not, as the nearest approach to perfect goodness
which it has ever been my happiness and my unhappiness to come in
contact with. Ay; although virtue, as humanly exercised, would turn
its back upon her.'
'Are you blaming the world, Saul Fielding,' she asks, in a tone that
has a touch of sternness in it, 'for a fault which is all your own?'
'No,' he answers; 'I am justifying Jane. _I_ blame the world! a pretty
object I, to turn accuser!'
He appeals to his rags, in scorn of them and of himself.
'Saul Fielding,' she says, after a pause during which she feels
nothing but ruth for his misery, 'you are a bit of a scholar; you have
gifts that others could turn to account, if they had them. Before
you--you----'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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