Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Middle West -- Fiction
As she left him that night she wondered if her conscience troubled her.
She was certainly encouraging Osprey. Standing in her own sitting room,
she recalled vividly how, when he took her hand in good-night, she had
felt the fierce stream that poured through him, and her very silence
had given him permission to unburden himself. She was thankful for his
restraint. Moreover her silence had been the result of pleasure, and
not mere lack of words. How little she had known of anything quite so
contained and yet so overpowering in Miles.... She could respond to
that, she knew: she had only to yield a little and she could respond.
The thought of Osprey in this personal sense, of some one beside her
husband in a personal sense, caused her to realize how much importance
she had gone on attaching to Miles. How ridiculous and womanly of her!
she reflected. Miles had taken his departure, and yet she had not until
now seemed quite to believe in it. Perhaps even yet she did not believe
in it. She had told Osprey that it was over; she kept repeating to
herself that it was over. Everything pointed to it, Harlindew’s own
unequivocal statement and her angry resentment of the manner of his
desertion, particularly his letter. But in her real consciousness she
had continued to expect his return ... during the whole of her talk
with Osprey, Miles had been present as a reality--a definite bar--in
her thought.
But now a new thing happened to her. She suddenly faced her whole life
spread out before her as on a single canvas, or rather as a continuing
panorama--and not just one small segment of it. Miles had not been her
whole life; he had been but a part. He might have continued to be that
part indefinitely and still not become her whole life. She had been
magnifying him until she had lost sight of the rest, all that other
strange web of adventure and catastrophe which had included her birth,
her childhood, her love for Hal, her tragic discovery, her runaway, her
struggle to help herself.... That would go on, no matter what happened,
whether Miles returned or stayed away, and it would go on according to
her own terms.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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