Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Middle West -- Fiction
Miles had retained his room downstairs, much as it was, except that
she saw it was kept in some sort of order for him. Her own tiny living
quarters were not enough comfortably for two, and she had foreseen that
he would have many a spell when he wanted to be quite alone. To her
mind he was very chivalrous in hiding his low-spirited moments from
her. When he left her early after dinner to spend the evening and the
night in his room, she knew that it was a signal for one of these.
He was working off some disappointment, some mood of defeat. These
troubles had generally fled by morning. He would be in her bedroom,
before she woke up, noisy and hungry, and full of jokes.
“You’re making me too happy to write,” he told her on one such
occasion, as he sat on her bedside and put her hand to his lips. “You
remember Rossetti says:
“By thine own tears thy song must tears beget
O Singer! Magic mirror thou hast none
Except thy manifest heart and save thine own
Anguish or ardour, else no amulet.”
He had the old-fashioned way of reading poetry, intoning it without
much shading or expression--and he threw himself into it. She thought
nobody was just like him when he did that entirely for his own
pleasure.
“But he speaks of ardour as well as anguish,” she objected.
“Yes, I suppose poetry itself does not have to be sad. But it comes
out of something like sadness. Rossetti was right. It is as foolish to
write poetry in the midst of happiness as to try to find words for what
you look like now--when I can be looking at you instead. How beautiful
you are when you wake.”
It occurred to Moira that she might be a little distressed over all
this. She wanted him to be happy, but she also wanted him to write--and
become famous or at least deserve it in her eyes. But her good sense
brushed his idle words aside. Why encourage harbouring such notions?
She had never known any one who spoke his mind aloud so continuously
as he did, and she knew that many of the things he said simply passed
through it aimlessly. They were without significance except the
significance of always tossing up other thoughts, and still others,
until the right one came. This thinking aloud had a ruthless quality
that would have hurt a more sensitive wife. It did not trouble her.
She decided there was no hurry about his getting to work. She did not
want him to do it until he could do his best. Nothing less than that
she wished to foster. They were living their lives to the full, now,
through each other. In good time they would branch out and live in
wider circles. Miles was storing up treasures that would find utterance
one of these days. Indeed he was writing--slight, experimental things
which she did not like, it was true, but which would help to open
up the dried springs of his invention. This period of his life was
certainly not less promising than the five years before she had met
him, arid years of picking up a mere living by critical trifles.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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