Blue-Stocking Hall, (Vol. 3 of 3)Scargill, William Pitt
General
Blue-Stocking Hall, (Vol. 3 of 3)
Scargill, William Pitt
Epistolary fiction; Women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction; Women -- Education -- Fiction
his last in the arms of his nephew. I never left him, except for the
necessary purposes of refreshment, from the time of his first seizure,
and have the happiness of believing that my presence afforded him
comfort. As the short period of his indisposition spared him any great
exhaustion of strength, he spoke without uneasiness, and in the most
collected manner adverted to the nature of his hopes. Nothing could be
more deeply interesting than his discourse, during the few latter hours
which preceded the closing scene.
“Oliphant,” said he, “I have never in my life, been an unbeliever; but
how small is the difference between infidelity, and a mere nominal
Christianity: a meagre religion of form and habit! Nay, of the two, is
there not a better chance, that the avowed scoffer, terrified by the
abyss which lies before him, may turn from the evil of his ways, than
the self-satisfied moralist, who depends on his miserable, his imperfect
works, for eternal salvation? My friend, I was in the latter predicament.
I received a commonplace Church of England education, said my prayers
mechanically, went to church, gave alms, abstained from travelling on
Sundays; and was for years of my life, so entirely persuaded, that as a
Christian character, I stood on a high pedestal, removed from the vulgar
level of mankind, that the Pharisee’s words, though not perhaps actually
expressed by my lips, were never far from my heart; and, ‘Lord, I thank
Thee, that I am not as other men,’ was a sentiment continually present to
me, whenever I thought upon serious subjects. Oh, how far from God was I
in those days, when I thought myself so near Him!”
Here he paused, and after the interval of a few minutes, resumed the
train of solemn reflection upon which he had entered.
“Yes,” added he, “blessed be Heaven, such vain-glorious delusions are far
from me now, and I am not ashamed to say, that I owe the change to this
young man.”
Here poor George was completely overwhelmed. He pressed his uncle’s hand
to his lips, and shed a torrent of tears.
“George,” continued the dying man, “first taught me the religion of the
heart. Of what avail are the cold conclusions of reason? they teach
not humility, they do not subdue the passions, they do not improve the
temper, nor allay one demoniac ebullition of malice or revenge. My
practice has been wretchedly vacillating. I have been continually led
away from the right way; but it is something to know this, and to put no
confidence in aught but the redeeming mercy of Him who suffered in our
mortal form, for guilty man, and died upon the cross to save our souls
alive.”
My poor friend told me that his worldly affairs were all settled.
“My temporal house,” said he, “has been set in order. May the heavenly
mansions be opened to receive me!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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