Bohemianism -- Fiction; Love stories; Paris (France) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"Out of forgetfulness I forgot to replace the screen. Rodolphe noticed
it and hid the packages just as he had already done before. 'Good
night,' said he. 'Good night,' I answered. I thought that he was going
to kiss me and I should not have hindered him, but he only took my hand,
which he carried to his lips. You know, Marcel, how fond he was of
kissing my hands. I heard his teeth chatter and I felt his body as cold
as marble. He still held my hand and he laid his head on my shoulder,
which was soon quite wet. Rodolphe was in a fearful state. He bit the
sheets to avoid crying out, but I could plainly hear his stifled sobs
and I still felt his tears flowing on my shoulder, which was first
scalded and then chilled. At that moment I needed all my courage and I
did need it, I can tell you. I had only to say a word, I had only to
turn my head, and my lips would have met those of Rodolphe, and we
should have made it up once more. Ah! For a moment I really thought that
he was going to die in my arms, or that, at least, he would go mad, as
he almost did once before, you remember? I felt I was going to yield, I
was going to recant first, I was going to clasp him in my arms, for
really one must have been utterly heartless to remain insensible to such
grief. But I recollected the words he had said to me the day before,
'You have no spirit if you stay with me, for I no longer love you,' Ah!
As I recalled those bitter words I would have seen Rodolphe ready to
die, and if it had only needed a kiss from me to save him, I would have
turned away my lips and let him perish."
"At last, overcome by fatigue, I sank into a half-sleep. I could still
hear Rodolphe sobbing, and I can swear to you, Marcel, that this sobbing
went on all night long, and that when day broke and I saw in the bed, in
which I had slept for the last time, the lover whom I was going to
leave for another's arms, I was terribly frightened to see the havoc
wrought by this grief on Rodolphe's face. He got up, like myself,
without saying a word, and almost fell flat at the first steps he took,
he was so weak and downcast. However, he dressed himself very quickly,
and only asked me how matters stood and when I was going to leave. I
told him that I did not know. He went off without bidding goodbye or
shaking hands. That is how we separated. What a blow it must have been
to his heart no longer to find me there on coming home, eh?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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