England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
Warricombe seemed to make an effort, and his next words had the accent
of well-bred consideration which distinguished his ordinary talk.
'Pray forgive my bad joke. I merely meant that I have no right whatever
to argue with anyone who has given serious attention to such things.
They are altogether beyond my sphere. I was born an agnostic, and no
subtlety of demonstration could incline me for a moment to theological
views; my intellect refuses to admit a single preliminary of such
arguments. You astonish me, and that's all I am justified in saying.'
'My dear Warricombe, you are justified in saying whatever your mind
suggests. That is one of the principles which I hold unaltered--let me
be quite frank with you. I should never have decided upon such a step
as this, but for the fact that I have managed to put by a small sum of
money which will make me independent for two or three years. Till quite
lately I hadn't a thought of using my freedom in this way; it was clear
to me that I must throw over the old drudgery at Rotherhithe, but this
resolve which astonishes you had not yet ripened--I saw it only as one
of the possibilities of my life. Well, now, it's only too true that
there's something of speculation in my purpose; I look to the Church,
not only as a congenial sphere of activity, but as a means of
subsistence. In a man of no fortune this is inevitable; I hope there is
nothing to be ashamed of. Even if the conditions of the case allowed
it, I shouldn't present myself for ordination forthwith; I must study
and prepare myself in quietness. How the practical details will be
arranged, I can't say; I have no family influence, and I must hope to
make friends who will open a way for me. I have always lived apart from
society; but that isn't natural to me, and it becomes more distasteful
the older I grow. The probability is that I shall settle somewhere in
the country, where I can live decently on a small income. After all,
it's better I should have let you know this at once. I only realised a
few minutes ago that to be silent about my projects was in a way to be
guilty of false pretences.'
The adroitness of this last remark, which directed itself, with such
show of candour, against a suspicion precisely the opposite of that
likely to be entertained by the listener, succeeded in disarming
Warricombe; he looked up with a smile of reassurance, and spoke
encouragingly.
'About the practical details I don't think you need have any anxiety.
It isn't every day that the Church of England gets such a recruit. Let
me suggest that you have a talk with my father.'
Peak reflected on the proposal, and replied to it with grave
thoughtfulness:
'That's very kind of you, but I should have a difficulty in asking Mr.
Warricombe's advice. I'm afraid I must go on in my own way for a time.
It will be a few months, I daresay, before I can release myself from my
engagements in London.'
'But I am to understand that your mind is really made up?'
'Oh, quite!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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