England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
'Don't you enjoy that?' Fanny asked of Godwin.
'Indeed I do.'
'You should be on Dartmoor in such weather,' said Sidwell. 'Father and
I were once caught in storms far worse than this--far better, I ought
to say, for I never knew anything so terrifically grand.'
Already it was over. The gusts diminished in frequency and force, the
hail ceased, the core of blackness was passing over to the eastern sky.
Fanny ran out into the garden, and pointed upward.
'Look where the sunlight is coming!'
An uncloaked patch of heaven shone with colour like that of the girl's
eyes--faint, limpid blue. Reminding himself that to tarry longer in
this company would be imprudent, Godwin bade the sisters good-morning.
The frank heartiness with which Fanny pressed his hand sent him on his
way exultant. Not too strong a word; for, independently of his wider
ambitions, he was moved and gratified by the thought that kindly
feeling towards him had sprung up in such a heart as this. Nor did
conscience so much as whisper a reproach. With unreflecting
ingenuousness he tasted the joy as if it were his right. Thus long he
had waited, through years of hungry manhood, for the look, the tone,
which were in harmony with his native sensibilities. Fanny Warricombe
was but an undeveloped girl, yet he valued her friendship above the
passionate attachment of any woman bred on a lower social plane. Had it
been possible, he would have kissed her fingers with purest reverence.
When out of sight of the house, he paused to regard the sky again. Its
noontide splendour was dazzling; masses of rosy cloud sailed swiftly
from horizon to horizon, the azure deepening about them. Yet before
long the west would again send forth its turbulent spirits, and so the
girls might perhaps be led to think of him.
By night the weather grew more tranquil. There was a full moon, and its
radiance illumined the ever-changing face of heaven with rare grandeur.
Godwin could not shut himself up over his books; he wandered far away
into the country, and let his thoughts have freedom.
He was learning to review with calmness the course by which he had
reached his now steadfast resolve. A revulsion such as he had
experienced after his first day of simulated orthodoxy, half a year
ago, could not be of lasting effect, for it was opposed to the whole
tenor of his mature thought. It spoilt his holiday, but had no chance
of persisting after his return to the atmosphere of Rotherhithe. That
he should have been capable of such emotion was, he said to himself, in
the just order of things; callousness in the first stages of an
undertaking which demanded gross hypocrisy would signify an ignoble
nature--a nature, indeed, which could never have been submitted to
trial of so strange a kind. But he had overcome himself; that phase of
difficulty was outlived, and henceforth he saw only the material
obstacles to be defied by his vindicated will.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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