England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
'She evidently thinks of me too much as a schoolboy.'
And he began to pace the room. Mrs. Peak sat still, with an air of
anxious brooding.
'You don't think she will refuse, Godwin?' fell from her presently.
His hand closed on the letter.
'Why? Well, in that case I should go to London and find some occupation
as soon as possible. You could still let me have the same money as
before?'
'Yes.'
It was said absently, and did not satisfy Godwin. In the course of the
conversation it appeared that Mrs. Peak had that morning been to see
the legal friend who looked after her small concerns, and though she
would not admit that she had any special cause for uneasiness, her son
recalled similar occasions when an interview with Mr. Dutch had been
followed by several days' gloom. The truth was that Mrs Peak could not
live strictly within the income at her disposal, and on being from time
to time reminded of this, she was oppressed by passing worry. If Godwin
and Oliver 'got on well,' things would come all right in the end, but
in the meantime she could not face additional expenditure. Godwin did
not like to be reminded of the razor's edge on which the affairs of the
household were balanced. At present it brought about a very sudden
change in his state of mind; he went upstairs again, and sat with the
letter before him, sunk in misery. The reaction had given him a
headache.
A fortnight, and no word from Lady Whitelaw. But neither was Godwin's
letter posted.
Was he at liberty to indulge the self-respect which urged him to write?
In a moment of heated confidence it was all very well to talk of
'getting some occupation' in London, but he knew that this might prove
no easy matter. A year's work at the School of Mines would decidedly
facilitate his endeavour; and, seeing that his mother's peace depended
upon his being speedily self-supporting, was it not a form of
selfishness to reject help from one who could well afford it? From a
distance, he regarded Lady Whitelaw with more charity; a longer talk
with her might have led to better mutual apprehension. And, after all,
it was not she but her husband to whom he would stand indebted. Sir Job
was a very kind-hearted old fellow; he had meant thoroughly well. Why,
clearly, the bestower of this third year's allowance would not be Lady
Whitelaw at all.
If it were granted. Godwin began to suffer a troublesome misgiving;
perchance he had gone too far, and was now, in fact, abandoned to his
own resources.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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