The embarrassed condition of his affairs kept Boswell in Scotland during the whole of 1780. In March, 1781, he again presented himself in London. Good Friday was, as usual, spent with Dr. Johnson, the friends worshipping together in St. Clement’s church. On Easter Sunday he performed his wonted devotions in St. Paul’s Cathedral. Not long afterwards he afforded sad evidence of persistent recklessness. Dining with the Duke of Montrose, he became inebriated, and in this condition joined an evening party at the Honourable Miss Monckton’s. He talked incoherently, and Dr. Johnson, who was present, endeavoured to shield him from observation.[68] Next, day being made conscious of his lamentable aberration, he despatched to his hostess the following verses as an apology for violating good manners:— “Not that with th’ excellent Montrose I had the happiness to dine; Not that I late from table rose, From Graham’s wit, from generous wine; “It was not these alone which led On sacred manners to encroach, And made me feel what most I dread, Johnson’s just frown and self-reproach: “But when I entered, not abashed, From your bright eyes were shot such rays, At once intoxication flashed, And all my frame was in a blaze. “But not a brilliant blaze, I own; Of the dull smoke I’m yet ashamed, I was a dreary ruin grown, And not enlightened, though enflamed. “Victim at once to wine and love, I hope, Maria, you’ll forgive; While I invoke the powers above, That henceforth I may wiser live.” Boswell remained in London till the beginning of June. _En route_ for Scotland, he accompanied Dr. Johnson to Southill, Bedfordshire, on a visit to Mr. Charles Dilly, publisher, who had there established his country seat. The friends reached Southill on Saturday, the 2nd June. Next day they accompanied Mr. Dilly’s family to the parish church. Boswell remained behind to receive the sacrament. During the evening he sought religious conversation with Dr. Johnson, commencing thus:—“My dear sir, I would fain be a good man; and I am very good now. I fear God and honour the king; I wish to do no ill, and to be benevolent to all mankind.” Dr. Johnson said impressions were deceitful and dangerous, and explained the nature of the Christian atonement. Boswell requested him to repeat his remarks, and proceeded to record them.[69] Neglecting the practice of his profession, Boswell became wholly dependent on his allowance from Lord Auchinleck, and again ran himself aground. He explained his condition to Dr. Johnson as a reason why he could not visit London in the spring of 1782, adding that could he possibly reach the metropolis, he might obtain a post which would restore his fortunes. Dr. Johnson replied as follows:—