LORD AUCHINLECK. * * * * * “Colonel Irwin[331] was dancing down a country dance at Bath, when somebody said, ‘I hope Mrs. Irwin is well.’ The colonel, dancing on, bowed and smiled and replied, ‘Dead a fortnight,—dead a fortnight.’” LORD KELLY. * * * * * “Sanderson, the Quaker, and Lady Galloway, had a violent dispute about religion. ‘Well, well, Catherine,’[332] said he, ‘you have but an Act of Parliament for your religion; I have the same for mine.’” LORD GALLOWAY. * * * * * “Lady Garlies[333] was making a cap to herself one evening. Says old Galloway, with much slyness, ‘If you were a milliner, madam, you would have plenty of business.’ ‘Yes,’ said Garlies, one way or t’other.’” I was present. * * * * * “A young extravagant dog had contrived to swell his bills prodigiously, and among other articles he had this:—‘To an entertainment to my friends the night before I left Oxford, £40.’ ‘My dear Tom,’ said his father, ‘I rejoice to find you so fortunate a man, for by what I can see you have a greater number of friends than any man in England.’” MR. ALLAN WHITEFOORD.[334] * * * * * “A company of strolling players were rehearsing ‘Macbeth,’ and singing the chorus of ‘We fly by night.’ ‘Oh,’ cried the landlord, who overheard them, ‘I’ll take care of that;’ and immediately called a constable to lay hold of them.” MR. LOVE. * * * * * “As Lord Mark Ker was going one night to pay a visit, one of his chairmen jostled a gentleman upon the street, who immediately knocked him down. Lord Mark came out of his chair, and as the fellow recovered himself, he desired the gentleman to chastise him for his insolence, which he declined. ‘Why, then, sir,’ said Lord Mark, ‘you will excuse me for taking notice of you for knocking down my chairman,’ and caned him most heartily.” LORD GALLOWAY. * * * * * “Sir William Maxwell of Springkell[335] said that Lord Fife[336] and Miss Willy[337] Maxwell resembled one another, for they had both bought their titles dear enough.” I was present. * * * * * “Whenever a young man was recommended to old Lord Stormont[338] for one of his kirks, he used allways to ask, ‘Is he good-natured in his drink?’ and if that was the case he said he should be his man.” SIR JOHN DOUGLAS. * * * * * “Lady Elibank[339] was regretting that old families should sink. Sir William Baird of Newbyth,[340] an ugly-looking dog, was there, who laughed and said, ‘What is all that stuff about old families? All nonsense! I should be glad to know who is the representative of Nebuchadnezzar’s family?’ This Lord Elibank, then a boy, replied, ‘You, sir, and he got you when he was eating grass with the beasts of the field.’” SIR WILLIAM MAXWELL.