World War, 1914-1918 -- Gift books; World War, 1914-1918 -- Miscellanea
I got up from the sofa and walked up and down the room. It was a
handsome room, large, many-windowed and high, but strangely gloomy. The
electric light was so heavily shaded that there were grim corners. One
might have thought that the wings of the Dark Angel hovered in the
recesses, as he waited--waited--waited. And, though the month was
August, there came up from the sea, hardly more than a stone's-throw
away, a sobbing that had something so much like human grief in it that
it made one understand how it was that in the ominous spring of 1914 the
village people of Russia kept on saying that they heard the earth crying
and that there would be war.
Vera Brennan's small head had sunk lower and lower. She spoke to me
without looking at me:
"You know I love Roland, don't you?"
"Yes," I answered her. "I know you love him."
"I can't help it," she said almost piteously. "I never loved anyone
before. I never thought I should love anyone at all. My mind was all on
other things. But he woke me up. I loved him directly I saw him and
heard him speak. Of course, I know he's very young, but with him age
doesn't seem to matter. He's a grown man in his mind and heart. He's
everything to me now--everything."
I said nothing, but kept on walking up and down the room. She went on,
more and more appealingly:
"He knows I'm saying all this to you. You see, he's told me all about
you. He said that if I loved him I must love you, too, because you and
he were like one life. And that is why I want to say this to you--that I
love him so very much that I want to think of him more than of
myself--that, if you think it would be better for him that I should
give him up and all my own life's happiness with him, I can do it and I
will do it. Yes, I will find strength to do it--if you say I must."
She had stretched out her arms towards me from the deeper gloom in which
she sat. And suddenly I realised, that, small and flowerlike and fragile
though she was, she was not a girl who was going to take my treasure
from me, but a woman who was asking me to let her share with me the
pride and the anguish of living under the black shadow of Fear that had
darkened my life for four months past.
I turned and went to her quickly and sat down on the sofa beside her and
took her into my arms. We did not speak a word, but we stayed there like
that for a long, long time--until the Boy's voice suddenly startled us:
"What are you doing here all this time? It's three o'clock. You will
both be ill."
"Roland! I thought you were in bed and asleep."
"No. I tried to lie down, but I couldn't. I've been walking up and down
the corridor."
He was stooping over us both, drawing us up. His boyish face had become
suddenly the face of a man, his voice was the voice of a man, and his
touch and his manner had a man's power and a man's dignity.
It was nearly four o'clock when I went to say good-night to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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