If only more people would write fewer books How well pleased I would be! If all the authors would change into cooks 'T would suit me perfectly. DIPLOMACY BY LUCY FITCH PERKINS The Widow Hill has a fine plum-tree! The Widow Hill is fond o' me. I'll call on her to-day! The plum-tree grows by her front door. I've been meaning to call for a week or more To pass the time o' day! IF I WERE QUEEN. BY LUCY FITCH PERKINS. If I were Queen of Anywhere, I'd have a golden crown, And sit upon a velvet chair, And wear a satin gown. A Knight of noble pedigree Should wait beside my seat, To serve me upon bended knee With things I like to eat. I'd have bonbons and cherry pie, Ice-cream and birthday cake, And a page should always stay near by To have my stomach-ache! THOUGHTS IN CHURCH BY LUCY FITCH PERKINS Oh, to be a sailor And sail to foreign lands-- To Greenland's icy mountains And India's coral strands! To sail upon the Ganges And see the crocodile, Where every prospect pleases, And only man is vile. I'd love to see the heathen Bow down to wood and stone, But his wicked graven image I'd knock from off its throne! The heathen-in-his-blindness Should see a thing or two! He'd know before I left him What a Yankee boy can do! #THE DAYS OF THE WEEK# THIS IS THE WAY This is the way we wash our clothes, Wash our clothes, Wash our clothes; This is the way we wash our clothes, So early Monday morning. This is the way we iron our clothes, Iron our clothes, Iron our clothes; This is the way we iron our clothes, So early Tuesday morning. This is the way we mend our shoes, Mend our shoes, Mend our shoes; This is the way we mend our shoes, So early Wednesday morning. This is the way we visit our friends, Visit our friends, Visit our friends; This is the way we visit our friends, So early Thursday morning. This is the way we sweep the house, Sweep the house, Sweep the house; This is the way we sweep the house, So early Friday morning. This is the way we bake our cake, Bake our cake, Bake our cake; This is the way we bake our cake, So early Saturday morning. This is the way we go to church, Go to church, Go to church; This is the way we go to church, So early Sunday morning. DAYS OF BIRTH Monday's child is fair of face, Tuesday's child is full of grace, Wednesday's child is brave and glad, Thursday's child is never bad, Friday's child is loving and kind, Saturday's child is clear in mind, The child that is born on the Sabbath day Is fair and wise and good and gay.