Mr. Reynolds was perfectly happy; it is pleasant to reflect how small an
amount of bliss can overflow some souls. Cornelia was brief but kind in
her answers to his turbid and confused pourings forth; not that she paid
heed to any thing the poor fellow said--she was only occasionally aware
of his presence. Her mind was revelling in dreams of heated and exalted
imagination; she was filled with inspiration, as with the rich,
palpitating blast of a mighty organ; but the tumultuous chorus of her
thoughts produced upon her an effect of magnetism which found its
expression in a gentle graciousness of words and manner.
She had made up her mind that the first person she should meet would be
Bressant; and, so full did she feel of victorious power, it seemed as
if, with scarcely a conscious effort, she could overbear and bring him
to her feet. Yes, and dictate the terms upon which she would consent to
receive his homage. What a pity that the key-notes of so few natures
correspond, at the critical moment, with our own; and that Providence
sees fit to forward, by even negative help, so small a proportion of our
superbly-conceived plans!
It was half-past eight when they drew up at the boarding-house door. No
sooner had Cornelia set foot within the threshold, and caught sight of
Abbie's face, than it was borne in upon her that Bressant was not there;
and the former, after questioning her about Sophie's non-appearance,
confirmed her fear. He had not come, nor was it now probable that he
would arrive before morning. It would have been useless to expect him by
the late train, due at half-past ten, since, to avail himself of that,
it would be necessary to make a difficult connection by walking two or
three miles from one railway to another.
After climbing to such a height, it was terrible to fall. Cornelia
had not allowed herself to anticipate the disaster, precisely because
it was so crashing. In a moment the great, rainbow-tinted bubble of her
hope and imagination had burst, leaving only a bitter and unpleasant
sense of the paltry and unclean materials--the soap-suds and
clay-pipe--wherewith it had been created.
Furthermore, the polite fictions which she had lubricated her conscience
withal, regarding her desires and intentions, were shown up at precisely
their true value, and a very discreditable spectacle they made. Nothing
is more exasperating after a failure than to be stared out of
countenance by the unworthy means we have employed. During her progress
up-stairs to the dressing-room, and brief stay there, Cornelia had ample
leisure to review her thoughts and deeds during the latter months of her
life. What a waste of time, opportunity, and emotion! It was a tragedy
of ridicule and a farce of profound pathos.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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