Alternative histories (Fiction); Science fiction; Time travel -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
There was no doubt her demure expression hid stern resolution. Whatever
else it hid was not so certain. Evidently Mr Haggerwells realized the
quality of her determination for eventually he proposed to the fellows
that she be allowed to stay and the offer of her money be rejected.
The motion was carried, with only Barbara, who spoke long and bitterly
against it, voting “no.”
In accepting Catty out of charity, the fellows unexpectedly made an
advantageous bargain. Not merely because she was always eager to help,
but for her specific contribution to the haven’s economy. Before this,
clothing the haven had been a haphazard affair; suits or dresses were
bought with money which would otherwise have been contributed to the
general fund, or if the fellow had no outside income, by a grant from
the same fund. Catty’s artistry with the needle made a revolution. Not
only did she patch and mend and alter; she designed and made clothes,
conveying some of her enthusiasm to the other women. The haven was
better and more handsomely clad and a great deal of money was saved.
Only Barbara refused to have her silk trousers and jackets made at home.
It was not entirely easy to adjust to the new Catty, the busy,
efficient, selfreliant creature. Her expressive voice could be
enchanting even when she was speaking nonsense—and Catty rarely
spoke nonsense. I don’t mean she was priggish or solemn, quite the
contrary; her spontaneous laughter was quick and frequent. But she was
essentially not frivolous; she felt deeply, her loyalties were strong
and enduring.
I missed her former all too open devotion to me. It had caused
embarrassment, impatience, annoyance; now it was withdrawn I felt
deprived and even pettish at its lack. Not that I had anything to offer
in return or considered that any emotion was called for from me. Though
I didnt express it to myself so openly at the time, what I regretted
was the sensually valuable docility of a beautiful woman. Of course
there was a confusion here: I was regretting what had never been, for
Catty and the nameless dumb girl were different individuals. Even her
always undeniable beauty was changed and heightened; what I really
wanted was for the Catty of now to act like the Catty of then. And
without any reciprocal gesture from me.
The new Catty no more than the old was disingenuous or coquettish. She
was simply mature, dignified, selfcontained and just a trifle amusedly
aloof. Also she was very busy. She did not pretend to any interest
in other men; at the same time she had clearly outgrown her childish
dependence on me. She refused any competition with Barbara. When I
sought her out she was there, but she made no attempt to call me to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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