As to Lesley, she would have given a great deal at that time for a
counsellor of some kind. The old feeling of friendlessness had come back
to her. Her aunt was absorbed by her own affairs, her father looked at
her with unquiet displeasure in his eyes. Oliver Trent had proved
himself a false friend indeed. Ethel was a little reserved with her, and
she had sent Maurice Kenyon away. There was nobody else to whom she
could turn for comfort. True, she had made many acquaintances by this
time: her father's circle was a large one, and she knew more people now
than she had ever spoken to in her quiet convent days. But these were
all acquaintances--not friends. She could not speak to any one of these
about Maurice Kenyon, her lover and her friend. Once or twice she
thought vaguely of writing to her mother about him; but she shrank from
doing so without quite knowing why. The fact was, she knew her mother's
criticism beforehand: she expected to be reproached with having broken
her compact in the spirit if not in the letter; and she did not know how
to justify herself. Maurice had taken his dismissal as final, and she
had not meant him to do so. Now, if ever, the girl wanted a friend who
would either encourage her to explain her position to him, or would do
it for her. Lady Alice would not fill this post efficiently. And Lesley,
in her youthful shamefaced pride, felt that nothing would induce her to
make her own explanation to Maurice. It would seem like asking him to
ask her again to marry him--an insupportable thought.
So she went about the house pale and heavy-eyed, trying with all her
might to throw herself into her father's schemes for his club, writing a
little now and then, occupying herself feverishly with all the projects
that came in her way, but bearing a sad heart about with her all the
time. She was not outwardly depressed--her pride would not let her seem
melancholy. She held her head high, and talked and laughed more than
usual. But the want of color and brightness in her face and eye could
not be controlled.
"You pale-faced wretch," she said to herself one Saturday evening, as
she stood before her glass and surveyed the fair image that met her eye;
"why cannot you look as usual? It must be this black dress that makes me
so colorless: I wish that I had a flower to wear with it."
Mr. Brooke and his sister were holding one of their frequent Saturday
evening parties, when they were "at home" to a large number of guests.
Lesley was just about to go downstairs. Her dress was black, for she was
in mourning for her grandfather; and it must be confessed that the
sombre hue made her look very pale indeed. The wish for a flower was
gratified, however, almost as soon as formed. Kingston entered her room
at that moment carrying a bouquet of flowers, chiefly white, but with a
scarlet blossom here and there, which would give exactly the touch of
color that Lesley's appearance required.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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