That knowledge was no solace. It was that for which she had outwardly
waited, but it was that against which she inwardly recoiled. She
realized this truth now, and conscience cried back that it must not be
so, that she must stifle that feeling of revulsion, that she must
welcome her husband, eagerly, gladly. And it went on to accuse ... that
conscience; it shamed her because she had been held to the breast of
another man; it scorned her because she had drawn herself closer to him
with her own arms; it taunted her bitterly because she could not readily
agree with her older self that in the doing she had sinned, because to
her slowly opening eyes that moment had seemed the most beautiful
interval of her life!
A peculiar difference in the vivacity of her impressions had been
asserting itself. The memory of the runaway had faded. Her picture of
the moment when she strained her body against Bayard's was not so clear
as it had been an hour before, though the thrill, the great joy of it,
still remained to mingle with those other thoughts and emotions which
confused her. The last great impression of the day, though--Bayard's
solemn announcement of his completed task--grew more sharply defined,
more outstanding, more important as the moments passed, because its
eventuality was a thing before which she felt powerless in the face of
her conscience, before which all this other must be forgotten, before
which this new rebellious Ann must give way to the old long-suffering,
submissive wife. She felt as though she had known her moment of beauty
and that it had gone, leaving her not even a sweet memory; for her
grimmer self whispered that that brief span of time had been vile,
unchaste. And yet, in the next moment, her strength had rallied and she
was fighting against the influence of tradition, against blind
precedents.
A knock came on her door and Ann, wondering with a thrill if it could be
Bayard, both troubled and pleased at the possibility, stepped across the
floor to answer it.
"Oh, Nora!" she said in surprise. "Come in,"--when the girl stood still
in the hall, neither offering to speak nor to enter. "Do come in," she
insisted after a pause and the other crossed the threshold, still
without speaking.
"I've been sitting here in the dark thinking about what happened this
afternoon," Ann said, drawing a chair to face hers that was by the
window. "It was all very exciting, wasn't it?"
Nora had followed across the room slowly and Ann felt that the girl's
gaze held on her with unusual steadfastness.
"I guess it's a fortunate thing that Bruce Bayard came along when he
did. I ... I tremble every time I think of the way my horse went down!"
She broke off and laughed nervously.
Nora stood before her, still silent, still eyeing her pointedly.
"Well ... Won't you sit down, Nora?"--confused by the portentous silence
and the staring of the other. "Won't you sit down here?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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