"No, I don't any more ..."--sadly, yet without regret.
"An' you'd go back to him, M's. Lytton? You'd go back without lovin'
him?"
Incredulity was in her tone.
"Of course. It is my place. He is coming to me soon, stronger, wiser, I
hope, and there's a chance that we will find at least a little peace
together."
"But the' won't be love,"--in a whisper.
Ann gave a little shudder and braced her shoulders backward.
"No, Nora. That is past. Besides, I--"
"Don't be afraid to admit it!" the girl urged, speaking rapidly. "Don't
be afraid to tell me. I know what you're thinkin'. You love Bruce
Bayard! I know; you can't hide it from me, M's. Lytton."
Ann's fingers twisted the coverlet.
"And if I do?" she asked weakly. "What if I do?"
"What if you do? Ain't lovin' a man answer enough for any woman?" cried
the other. "Is the' anything else that holds folks together? Is the'
anything else that makes men an' women happy? Does your bein' a man's
wife mean happiness? Your promisin' to love him didn't make you love,
did it? Because a preacher told you you was one didn't make it so, did
it? Nobody can make you love him, not even yourself, 'cause you said it
was duty that takes you back; that you don't love him. But you can't
help lovin' Bruce Bayard!
"Oh, M's. Lytton, don't fool yourself about this duty! It's up to a man
an' a woman to take love, to take happiness, when it comes. You can't
set still an' watch it go by an' hope to have it come again; real
happiness don't happen but once in most of our lives. I know. I've been
down ... I've been happy, too ... I know!
"An' duty! Why, ma'am, duty like you think you ought to do, is waste!
You're young, you're healthy, you're pretty. You'll waste your best
years, you'll waste your health, you'll waste your looks on duty!
You'll waste all your love; you'll get old an' bitter an'....
"If the's anything under heaven that's a crime, it's wasted love! Oh,
M's. Lytton, I wasted my love when I was a kid, 'cause I didn't know
better. I sold mine for money. For God's sake, don't sell yours for
duty! If the's anything your God meant folks to do was to get what joy
they can out of life. He wouldn't want you to think of bein' Ned
Lytton's wife as ... as your duty. He ... God ain't that kind, M's.
Lytton; he ain't!"
"Nora, Nora, don't say these things!" Ann pleaded. "You're wrong, you
must be! Don't tempt me to ... these new ways ... don't...."
"New!" the girl broke in. "It ain't new, what I've been sayin'. It's as
old as men an' women. It's as old as th' world. Th' things you try to
make yourself believe are th' new ones. Love was old before folks first
thought about duty. It seems new, because you ain't ever let yourself
see straight ... you never had to until now."
"Nora, stop I You must stop! You can't be right ... you can't be!"
The waitress trembled against Ann and commenced to cry under the strain
of her earnestness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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