Tony sat down at the open desk, clasped her hands behind her head,
and looked for a while at the pavement of the court, gleaming black
with wet, and at the damp, yellow garden. Then she began to rummage
curiously among the visiting-cards and letters on the desk. Close by
the inkstand lay the well-known large copy-book with the stamped cover,
gilt edges, and leaves of various qualities and colours. It must have
been used the evening before, and it was strange that Papa had not put
it back in its leather portfolio and laid it in its special drawer.
She took it and turned over the pages, began to read, and became
absorbed. What she read were mostly simple facts well-known to her; but
each successive writer had followed his predecessor in a stately but
simple chronicle style which was no bad mirror of the family attitude,
its modest but honourable self-respect, and its reverence for tradition
and history. The book was not new to Tony; she had sometimes been
allowed to read in it. But its contents had never made the impression
upon her that they did this morning. She was thrilled by the reverent
particularity with which the simplest facts pertinent to the family
were here treated. She propped herself on her elbows and read with
growing absorption, seriousness and pride.
No point in her own tiny past was lacking. Her birth, her childish
illnesses, her first school, her boarding-school days at Mademoiselle
Weichbrodt’s, her confirmation--everything was carefully entered, with
an almost reverent observation of facts, in the Consul’s small, flowing
business hand; for was not the least of them the will and work of God,
who wonderfully guided the destinies of the family? What, she mused,
would there be entered here in the future after her name, which she
had received from her grandmother Antoinette? All that was yet to be
written there would be conned by later members of the family with a
piety equal to her own.
She leaned back sighing; her heart beat solemnly. She was filled with
reverence for herself: the familiar feeling of personal importance
possessed her, heightened by all she had been reading. She felt
thrilled and shuddery. “Like a link in a chain,” Papa had written. Yes,
yes. She was important precisely as a link in this chain. Such was her
significance and her responsibility, such her task: to share by deed
and word in the history of her family.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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