I bear in myself the seed, the tendency, the possibility of all
capacity and all achievement. Where should I be were I not here? Who,
what, how could I be, if I were not I--if this my external self, my
consciousness, did not cut me off from those who are not I? Organism!
Blind, thoughtless, pitiful eruption of the urging will! Better,
indeed, for the will to float free in spaceless, timeless night than
for it to languish in prison, illumined by the feeble, flickering light
of the intellect!
Have I hoped to live on in my son? In a personality yet more feeble,
flickering, and timorous than my own? Blind, childish folly! What
can my son do for me--what need have I of a son? Where shall I be
when I am dead? Ah, it is so brilliantly clear, so overwhelmingly
simple! I shall be in all those who have ever, do ever, or ever shall
say “I”--_especially, however, in all those who say it most fully,
potently, and gladly_!
Somewhere in the world a child is growing up, strong, well-grown,
adequate, able to develop its powers, gifted, untroubled, pure, joyous,
relentless, one of those beings whose glance heightens the joy of
the joyous and drives the unhappy to despair. _He_ is my son. He is
I, myself, soon, soon; as soon as Death frees me from the wretched
delusion that I am not he as well as myself.
Have I ever hated life--pure, strong, relentless life? Folly and
misconception! I have but hated myself, because I could not bear it. I
love you, I love you all, you blessed, and soon, soon, I shall cease to
be cut off from you all by the narrow bonds of myself; soon will that
in me which loves you be free and be in and with you--in and with you
all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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