France -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English
Colleville. “If my place is taken from me, Francois Keller will make it
hot for your minister.” [Dead silence.] “I’d have you to know, Master
Dutocq, that all known anagrams have actually come to pass. Look
here,--you, yourself,--don’t you marry, for there’s ‘coqu’ in your
name.”
Bixiou [interrupting]. “And d, t, for de-testable.”
Dutocq [without seeming angry]. “I don’t care, as long as it is only in
my name. Why don’t you anagrammatize, or whatever you call it, ‘Xavier
Rabourdin, chef du bureau’?”
Colleville. “Bless you, so I have!”
Bixiou [mending his pen]. “And what did you make of it?”
Colleville. “It comes out as follows: D’abord reva bureaux, E-u,--(you
catch the meaning? et eut--and had) E-u fin riche; which signifies that
after first belonging to the administration, he gave it up and got rich
elsewhere.” [Repeats.] “D’abord reva bureaux, E-u fin riche.”
Dutocq. “That IS queer!”
Bixiou. “Try Isidore Baudoyer.”
Colleville [mysteriously]. “I sha’n’t tell the other anagrams to any one
but Thuillier.”
Bixiou. “I’ll bet you a breakfast that I can tell that one myself.”
Colleville. “And I’ll pay if you find it out.”
Bixiou. “Then I shall breakfast at your expense; but you won’t be angry,
will you? Two such geniuses as you and I need never conflict. ‘Isidore
Baudoyer’ anagrams into ‘Ris d’aboyeur d’oie.’”
Colleville [petrified with amazement]. “You stole it from me!”
Bixiou [with dignity]. “Monsieur Colleville, do me the honor to believe
that I am rich enough in absurdity not to steal my neighbor’s nonsense.”
Baudoyer [entering with a bundle of papers in his hand]. “Gentlemen, I
request you to shout a little louder; you bring this office into such
high repute with the administration. My worthy coadjutor, Monsieur
Clergeot, did me the honor just now to come and ask a question, and he
heard the noise you are making” [passes into Monsieur Godard’s room].
Bixiou [in a low voice]. “The watch-dog is very tame this morning;
there’ll be a change of weather before night.”
Dutocq [whispering to Bixiou]. “I have something I want to say to you.”
Bixiou [fingering Dutocq’s waistcoat]. “You’ve a pretty waistcoat, that
cost you nothing; is that what you want to say?”
Dutocq. “Nothing, indeed! I never paid so dear for anything in my life.
That stuff cost six francs a yard in the best shop in the rue de la
Paix,--a fine dead stuff, the very thing for deep mourning.”
Bixiou. “You know about engravings and such things, my dear fellow, but
you are totally ignorant of the laws of etiquette. Well, no man can be
a universal genius! Silk is positively not admissible in deep mourning.
Don’t you see I am wearing woollen? Monsieur Rabourdin, Monsieur
Baudoyer, and the minister are all in woollen; so is the faubourg
Saint-Germain. There’s no one here but Minard who doesn’t wear woollen;
he’s afraid of being taken for a sheep. That’s the reason why he didn’t
put on mourning for Louis XVIII.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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