_Chro._ Aldiborontiphoscophornio, To thee, and gentle Rigdum-Funnidos, Our gratulations flow in streams unbounded: Our bounty's debtor to your loyalty, Which shall with inter'st be repaid ere long. But where's our queen? where's Fadladinida? She should be foremost in the gladsome train, To grace our triumph; but I see she slights me. This haughty queen shall be no longer mine, I'll have a sweet and gentle concubine. _Rig._ Now, my dear little Phoscophorny, for a swinging lie to bring the queen off, and I'll run with it to her this minute, that we may be all in a story. Say she has got the thorough-go-nimble. [_Whispers, and steals off._ _Aldi._ Speak not, great Chrononhotonthologos, In accents so injuriously severe Of Fadladinida, your faithful queen: By me she sends an embassy of love, Sweet blandishments and kind congratulations, But cannot, oh! she cannot, come herself. _King._ Our rage is turn'd to fear: what ails the queen? _Aldi._ A sudden diarrhoea's rapid force, So stimulates the peristaltic motion, That she by far out-does her late out-doing, And all conclude her royal life in danger. _King._ Bid the physicians of the world assemble In consultation, solemn and sedate: More, to corroborate their sage resolves, Call from their graves the learned men of old: Galen, Hippocrates, and Paracelsus; Doctors, apothecaries, surgeons, chemists, All! all! attend; and see they bring their med'cines, Whole magazines of galli-potted nostrums, Materializ'd in pharmaceutic order. The man that cures our queen shall have our empire. [_Exeunt omnes._ SCENE.--_A Garden._ _Enter_ TATLANTHE _and_ QUEEN. _Queen._ Heigh ho! my heart! _Tat._ What ails my gracious queen? _Queen._ Oh, would to Venus I had never seen! _Tat._ Seen what, my royal mistress? _Queen._ Too, too much! _Tat._ Did it affright you? _Queen._ No, 'tis nothing such. _Tat._ What was it, madam? _Queen._ Really I don't know. _Tat._ It must be something! _Queen._ No! _Tat._ Or nothing! _Queen._ No. _Tat._ Then I conclude, of course, since it was neither, Nothing and something jumbled well together. _Queen._ Oh! my Tatlanthe, have you never seen! _Tat._ Can I guess what, unless you tell, my queen? _Queen._ The king I mean.