[Footnote 215: We believe this song to be copied, with a small variation in metre and meaning, from a song in "Count Benyowsky; or, the Conspiracy of Kamtschatka,"--where the conspirators join in a chorus, _for fear of being overheard_.] BOMBASTES FURIOSO. FIRST PERFORMED AT THE THEATRE ROYAL HAYMARKET, AUGUST 7, 1810. DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. ARTAXOMINOUS, _King of Utopia._ FUSBOS, _Minister of State._ GENERAL BOMBASTES. _Attendants or Courtiers._ _Army_--a long Drummer, a short Fifer, and two (sometimes three) Soldiers of different dimensions. DISTAFFINA. SCENE I.--_Interior of the Palace._ _The_ KING _in his chair of state.--A table set out with punchbowl, glasses, pipes, &c._--ATTENDANTS _on each side._ TRIO.--"_Tekeli._" _1st Atten._ What will your majesty please to wear? Or blue, green, red, black, white, or brown? _2nd Atten._ D'ye choose to look at the bill of fare? [_Showing long bill._ _King._ Get out of my sight, or I'll knock you down. _2nd Atten._ Here is soup, fish, or goose, or duck, or fowl, or pigeons, pig, or hare! _1st Atten._ Or blue, or green, or red, or black, or white, or brown, What will your Majesty, &c. _King._ Get out of my sight, &c. [_Exeunt_ ATTENDANTS. _Enter_ FUSBOS, _and kneels to the_ KING. _Fusbos._ Hail, Artaxominous! yclep'd the Great! I come, an humble pillar of thy state, Pregnant with news--but ere that news I tell, First let me hope your Majesty is well. _King._ Rise, learned Fusbos! rise, my friend, and know We are but middling--that is, _so so!_ _Fusbos._ Only _so so!_ Oh, monstrous, doleful thing! Is it the mulligrubs affects the king? Or, dropping poisons in the cup of joy, Do the blue devils your repose annoy? _King._ Nor mulligrubs nor devils blue are here, But yet we feel ourselves a little queer. _Fusbos._ Yes, I perceive it in that vacant eye, The vest unbutton'd, and the wig awry; So sickly cats neglect their fur-attire, And sit and mope beside the kitchen fire. _King._ Last night, when undisturb'd by state affairs, Moist'ning our clay, and puffing off our cares, Oft the replenish'd goblet did we drain, And drank and smok'd, and smok'd and drank again! Such was the case, our very actions such, Until at length we got a drop too much. _Fusbos._ So when some donkey on the Blackheath Road, Falls, overpower'd, beneath his sandy load; The driver's curse unheeded swells the air, Since none can carry more than they can bear.