_Bayes._ No, there you are out; for I make each of 'em hold a lute in his hand. _Smith._ How, sir, instead of a buckler? _Bayes._ O Lord, O Lord! instead of a buckler? pray, sir, do you ask no more questions. I make 'em, sirs, play the battle _in recitativo_. And here's the conceit just at the very same instant that one sings, the other, sir, recovers you his sword, and puts himself into a warlike posture: so that you have at once your ear entertain'd with music and good language, and your eye satisfied with the garb and accoutrements of war. _Smith._ I confess, sir, you stupefy me. _Bayes._ You shall see. _Johns._ But, Mr. Bayes, might not we have a little fighting? for I love those plays where they cut and slash one another upon the stage for a whole hour together. _Bayes._ Why, then, to tell you true, I have contriv'd it both ways: but you shall have my _recitativo_ first. _Johns._ Ay, now you are right: there is nothing that can be objected against it. _Bayes._ True: and so, egad, I'll make it too a tragedy in a trice.[53] _Enter at several doors the_ GENERAL _and_ LIEUTENANT-GENERAL, _arm'd cap-a-pie_, _with each of them a lute in his hand_, _and a sword drawn_, _and hung with a scarlet ribbon at his wrist_.[54] _Lieut.-Gen._ Villain, thou liest! _Gen._ Arm, arm, Gonsalvo,[55] arm, what, ho! The lie no flesh can brook, I trow. _Lieut.-Gen._ Advance from Acton with the musqueteers. _Gen._ Draw down the Chelsea cuirassiers.[56] _Lieut.-Gen._ The band you boast of Chelsea cuirassiers, Shall, in my Putney pikes, now meet their peers.[57] _Gen._ Chiswickians, aged and renown'd in fight, Join with the Hammersmith brigade. _Lieut.-Gen._ You'll find my Mortlake boys will do them right, Unless by Fulham numbers over-laid. _Gen._ Let the left wing of Twick'nam foot advance, And line that eastern hedge. _Lieut.-Gen._ The horse I rais'd in Petty-France Shall try their chance, And scour the meadows, overgrown with sedge. _Gen._ Stand: give the word. _Lieut.-Gen._ Bright sword. _Gen._ That may be thine. But 'tis not mine. _Lieut.-Gen._ Give fire, give fire, at once give fire, And let those recreant troops perceive mine ire.[58] _Gen._ Pursue, pursue; they fly That first did give the lie. [_Exeunt._ _Bayes._ This now is not improper, I think; because the spectators know all these towns, and may easily conceive them to be within the dominions of the two Kings of Brentford. _Johns._ Most exceeding well design'd! _Bayes._ How do you think I have contriv'd to give a stop to this battle? _Smith._ How? _Bayes._ By an eclipse; which, let me tell you, is a kind of fancy that was yet never so much as thought of, but by myself, and one person more, that shall be nameless. _Enter_ LIEUTENANT-GENERAL.