I had nothing for it but to mount the dustman's donkey (which was very
quietly cropping grass in the hedge), and to make my way home; and after
a weary, weary journey, I arrived at my own gate.
A whole party was assembled there. Tagrag, who had come back; their
Excellencies Mace and Punter, who were on a visit; and a number of
horses walking up and down before the whole of the gentlemen of the
hunt, who had come in after losing their fox! “Here's Squire Coxe!”
shouted the grooms. Out rushed the servants, out poured the gents of
the hunt, and on trotted poor me, digging into the donkey, and everybody
dying with laughter at me.
Just as I got up to the door, a horse came galloping up, and passed me;
a man jumped down, and taking off a fantail hat, came up, very gravely,
to help me down.
“Squire,” says he, “how came you by that there hanimal? Jist git down,
will you, and give it to its howner?”
“Rascal!” says I, “didn't you ride off on my horse?”
“Was there ever sich ingratitude?” says the Spicy. “I found this year
'oss in a pond, I saves him from drowning, I brings him back to his
master, and he calls me a rascal!”
The grooms, the gents, the ladies in the balcony, my own servants, all
set up a roar at this; and so would I, only I was so deucedly ashamed,
as not to be able to laugh just then.
And so my first day's hunting ended. Tagrag and the rest declared I
showed great pluck, and wanted me to try again; but “No,” says I, “I
HAVE been.”
THE FINISHING TOUCH.
I was always fond of billiards: and, in former days, at Grogram's in
Greek Street, where a few jolly lads of my acquaintance used to meet
twice a week for a game, and a snug pipe and beer, I was generally voted
the first man of the club; and could take five from John the marker
himself. I had a genius, in fact, for the game; and now that I was
placed in that station of life where I could cultivate my talents,
I gave them full play, and improved amazingly. I do say that I think
myself as good a hand as any chap in England.
The Count and his Excellency Baron von Punter were, I can tell you,
astonished by the smartness of my play: the first two or three rubbers
Punter beat me, but when I came to know his game, I used to knock him
all to sticks; or, at least, win six games to his four: and such was the
betting upon me; his Excellency losing large sums to the Count, who knew
what play was, and used to back me. I did not play except for shillings,
so my skill was of no great service to me.
One day I entered the billiard-room where these three gentlemen were
high in words. “The thing shall not be done,” I heard Captain Tagrag
say: “I won't stand it.”
“Vat, begause you would have de bird all to yourzelf, hey?” said the
Baron.
“You sall not have a single fezare of him, begar,” said the Count: “ve
vill blow you, M. de Taguerague; parole d'honneur, ve vill.”
“What's all this, gents,” says I, stepping in, “about birds and
feathers?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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