“The mystery is at length solved. This afternoon, at four o'clock, the
Hymeneal Blacksmith, of Gretna Green, celebrated the marriage between
George Granby Silvertop, Esq., a Lieutenant in the 150th Hussars, third
son of General John Silvertop, of Silvertop Hall, Yorkshire, and Lady
Emily Silvertop, daughter of the late sister of the present Earl of
Bareacres, and the Lady Angelina Amelia Arethusa Anaconda Alexandrina
Alicompania Annemaria Antoinetta, daughter of the last-named Earl
Bareacres.
(Here follows a long extract from the Marriage Service in the Book
of Common Prayer, which was not read on the occasion, and need not be
repeated here.)
“After the ceremony, the young couple partook of a slight refreshment
of sherry and water--the former the Captain pronounced to be execrable;
and, having myself tasted some glasses from the VERY SAME BOTTLE with
which the young and noble pair were served, I must say I think the
Captain was rather hard upon mine host of the 'Bagpipes Hotel and
Posting-House,' whence they instantly proceeded. I follow them as soon
as the horses have fed.
“FOURTH EDITION.
“SHAMEFUL TREATMENT OF OUR REPORTER.
“WHISTLEBINKIE, N. B. Monday, Midnight.
“I arrived at this romantic little villa about two hours after the
newly married couple, whose progress I have the honor to trace, reached
Whistlebinkie. They have taken up their residence at the 'Cairngorm
Arms'--mine is at the other hostelry, the 'Clachan of Whistlebinkie.'
“On driving up to the 'Cairngorm Arms,' I found a gentleman of military
appearance standing at the doer, and occupied seemingly in smoking
a cigar. It was very dark as I descended from my carriage, and the
gentleman in question exclaimed, 'Is it you, Southdown my boy? You have
come too late; unless you are come to have some supper;' or words to
that effect. I explained that I was not the Lord Viscount Southdown,
and politely apprised Captain Silvertop (for I justly concluded the
individual before me could be no other) of his mistake.
“'Who the deuce' (the Captain used a stronger term) 'are you, then?'
said Mr. Silvertop. 'Are you Baggs and Tapewell, my uncle's attorneys?
If you are, you have come too late for the fair.'
“I briefly explained that I was not Baggs and Tapewell, but that my name
was J--ms, and that I was a gentleman connected with the establishment
of the Morning Tatler newspaper.
“'And what has brought you here, Mr. Morning Tatler?' asked
my interlocutor, rather roughly. My answer was frank--that the
disappearance of a noble lady from the house of her friends had caused
the greatest excitement in the metropolis, and that my employers were
anxious to give the public every particular regarding an event so
singular.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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