By Neva's waters : $b Being an episode in the secret history of Alexander the First, Czar of all the RussiasCarling, John R.
History
By Neva's waters : $b Being an episode in the secret history of Alexander the First, Czar of all the Russias
Carling, John R.
Napoleonic Wars, 1800-1815 -- Campaigns -- Russia -- Fiction; Russia -- History -- Alexander I, 1801-1825 -- Fiction
She was silent for a few minutes, pondering her mental state, which
was not only inexplicable to her, but also to Beauvais, the student
of psychology. For, observe the contradictory nature of the case: her
struggle in the water had formed a dividing-line in her history; over
this dividing-line she was able to bring into her new life all, or most,
of the knowledge acquired in the old, and yet she was unable to bring
with it the knowledge of her own personality. Why her mind, able to
retain so much of the past, should become an absolute blank upon one
point—there was the mystery that humbled, nay, frightened her. Better for
her to lose, say, her knowledge of languages or of music, than to lose
the knowledge of herself. A gulf seemed to separate her from her three
companions; they could carry _their_ minds back to childhood’s days; for
her life began with that morning only. Her previous history lay hidden
behind a black curtain. A native from the planet Mars, new-dropped upon
the earth, could not have felt less at home than did Princess Marie at
that moment.
“What is this that has come upon me?” she murmured with fear in her
voice. “If I lose my memory, what is to prevent me from losing my reason?”
“Now you are distressing yourself unnecessarily,” said the doctor,
cheerily. “Why did I ply you this morning with so many questions upon
this, that and the other topic, but to ascertain whether there is any
ground for what you fear. And the result? My dear lady, if all the heads
in the Czar’s cabinet were half as sound as yours, Russia would be well
governed. Your mind is perfectly sane, have no fear upon that point. As
to your loss of memory—humph! I’ll call it a misfortune, to please you.
But there are many persons, Prince Ouvaroff for example, who would be
glad to obtain an oblivion as complete as yours. Patience, my good lady,
patience. Time will restore your memory.”
These optimistic remarks, and many more of the same sort from Beauvais,
combined with Pauline’s caresses, gradually brought the distressed
Princess to a calmer state.
“I am justly punished,” she said with a sad smile, addressing Wilfrid.
“I have so long kept my name a secret from you that it is now a secret
from myself. And you say I was found last night lying insensible upon the
shores of this island? How did I come there?”
Pauline and the doctor could both have answered this question more fully
than Wilfrid, but for reasons of their own they chose to be silent,
leaving him to tell as much as he knew of the matter. To his story Marie
listened with a troubled air.
“Have I enemies so malignant that they seek to murder me?”
“It would seem so,” replied Wilfrid, adding for her consolation, “but
since they must now look upon you as dead they will molest you no more.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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