And I knew that where Fraser was she was happy. He had her soul fast by
this; or, it would be truer to say, the spectre of the Manse had both
him and her. And he aged apace and bore on his countenance the stamp of
evil. And I brooded and brooded upon the whole matter. But, from
whatever point I started, I came back to the Manse and to the spectre
dwelling in it with Hugh Fraser. I had given death to Doctor Wedderburn,
in return for the life so miraculously given to me, and now his spirit,
retained in its ancient abiding-place, spread death about it in its
turn. This was, and is, my conviction. The influence of the departed
clings to roof, to walls, to floors, leans on the accustomed
window-seat, trembles by the bed-head, sits by the hearthstone, stands
invisible in the passage way. _To kill it one must destroy its home._ It
was my duty to kill it, therefore it was my duty to destroy the Manse.
This thought at length took complete possession of me, and, following
it, I strove in every imaginable way to oust Fraser from the house among
the sycamores. But he would not go. He loved the place, he said. He
stood by his lease and I was powerless.
Oh, God, I have, surely I have, my excuse for what I have done! I meant
to be a saviour, not a destroyer! I would have restored Fraser and my
poor Kate to their freedom of heart. That was what I meant. Ay, but the
grey traveller fought against me. Shut up here by night in my house, on
the verge of--that which I cannot, dare not speak of, I declare that I
am guiltless. Let him bear the burden, him alone! In these last moments,
before my deed is known, I write the truth that men may exonerate me.
This is the truth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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