New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories
“‘Say you so, brave patriot?’ said the general, again weepin’. ‘Ah,
_Dios!_ And I have not the means to reward your devotion. Barely did I
my life bring away. _Carrambos!_ what a devil’s animal was that mule,
señor! Like ships in one storm was I dashed about. The skin on myself
was ripped away with the thorns and vines. Upon the bark of a hundred
trees did that beast of the infernal bump, and cause outrage to the
legs of mine. In the night to Port Barrios I came. I dispossess myself
of that mountain of mule and hasten along the water shore. I find a
little boat to be tied. I launch myself and row to the steamer. I
cannot see any mans on board, so I climbed one rope which hang at the
side. I then myself hide in the bananas. Surely, I say, if the ship
captains view me, they shall throw me again to those Guatemala. Those
things are not good. Guatemala will shoot General De Vega. Therefore, I
am hide and remain silent. Life itself is glorious. Liberty, it is
pretty good; but so good as life I do not think.’
“Three days, as I said, was the trip to New Orleans. The general man
and me got to be cronies of the deepest dye. Bananas we ate until they
were distasteful to the sight and an eyesore to the palate, but to
bananas alone was the bill of fare reduced. At night I crawls out,
careful, on the lower deck, and gets a bucket of fresh water.
“That General De Vega was a man inhabited by an engorgement of words
and sentences. He added to the monotony of the voyage by divestin’
himself of conversation. He believed I was a revolutionist of his own
party, there bein’, as he told me, a good many Americans and other
foreigners in its ranks. ’Twas a braggart and a conceited little
gabbler it was, though he considered himself a hero. ’Twas on himself
he wasted all his regrets at the failin’ of his plot. Not a word did
the little balloon have to say about the other misbehavin’ idiots that
had been shot, or run themselves to death in his revolution.
“The second day out he was feelin’ pretty braggy and uppish for a
stowed-away conspirator that owed his existence to a mule and stolen
bananas. He was tellin’ me about the great railroad he had been
buildin’, and he relates what he calls a comic incident about a fool
Irishman he inveigled from New Orleans to sling a pick on his little
morgue of a narrow-gauge line. ’Twas sorrowful to hear the little,
dirty general tell the opprobrious story of how he put salt upon the
tail of that reckless and silly bird, Clancy. Laugh, he did, hearty and
long. He shook with laughin’, the black-faced rebel and outcast,
standin’ neck-deep in bananas, without friends or country.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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