New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories
“Your shoe-store man’s come,” said Keogh, rolling the sweet morsel on
his tongue, “with a stock of goods big enough to supply the continent
as far down as Terra del Fuego. They’re carting his cases over to the
custom-house now. Six barges full they brought ashore and have paddled
back for the rest. Oh, ye saints in glory! won’t there be regalements
in the air when he gets onto the joke and has an interview with Mr.
Consul? It’ll be worth nine years in the tropics just to witness that
one joyful moment.”
Keogh loved to take his mirth easily. He selected a clean place on the
matting and lay upon the floor. The walls shook with his enjoyment.
Johnny turned half over and blinked.
“Don’t tell me,” he said, “that anybody was fool enough to take that
letter seriously.”
“Four-thousand-dollar stock of goods!” gasped Keogh, in ecstasy. “Talk
about coals to Newcastle! Why didn’t he take a ship-load of palm-leaf
fans to Spitzbergen while he was about it? Saw the old codger on the
beach. You ought to have been there when he put on his specs and
squinted at the five hundred or so barefooted citizens standing
around.”
“Are you telling the truth, Billy?” asked the consul, weakly.
“Am I? You ought to see the buncoed gentleman’s daughter he brought
along. Looks! She makes the brick-dust señoritas here look like
tar-babies.”
“Go on,” said Johnny, “if you can stop that asinine giggling. I hate to
see a grown man make a laughing hyena of himself.”
“Name is Hemstetter,” went on Keogh. “He’s a— Hello! what’s the matter
now?”
Johnny’s moccasined feet struck the floor with a thud as he wriggled
out of his hammock.
“Get up, you idiot,” he said, sternly, “or I’ll brain you with this
inkstand. That’s Rosine and her father. Gad! what a drivelling idiot
old Patterson is! Get up, here, Billy Keogh, and help me. What the
devil are we going to do? Has all the world gone crazy?”
Keogh rose and dusted himself. He managed to regain a decorous
demeanour.
“Situation has got to be met, Johnny,” he said, with some success at
seriousness. “I didn’t think about its being your girl until you spoke.
First thing to do is to get them comfortable quarters. You go down and
face the music, and I’ll trot out to Goodwin’s and see if Mrs. Goodwin
won’t take them in. They’ve got the decentest house in town.”
“Bless you, Billy!” said the consul. “I knew you wouldn’t desert me.
The world’s bound to come to an end, but maybe we can stave it off for
a day or two.”
Keogh hoisted his umbrella and set out for Goodwin’s house. Johnny put
on his coat and hat. He picked up the brandy bottle, but set it down
again without drinking, and marched bravely down to the beach.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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