At a military guest-night in India, a turkey and a "Europe" ham are--or were--_de rigueur_ at table; and on the whole the warrior fares well, if the _khansamah_ do not attempt luxuries. His chicken cutlets are not despicable, and we can even forgive the repetition of the _vilolif_ but his _bifisteakishtoo_ (stewed steak) is usually too highly-spiced for the European palate. Later in the evening, however, he will come out strong with _duvlebone_, and grilled sardines in curlpapers. The presence of the bagpipes, in the mess-room of a Highland regiment, when men have well drunk, is cruelly unkind--to the Saxon guest at all events. The bagpipe is doubtless a melodious instrument (to trained ears), but its melodies are apt to "hum i' th' head o'er muckle ye ken," after a course of haggis washed down with sparkling wines and old port. "Tell me what a man eats," said Brillat Savarin, "and I'll tell you what he is." _Peter the Great_ did not like the presence of "listening lacqueys" in the dining-room. Peter's favourite dinner was, like himself, peculiar: "A soup, with four cabbages in it; gruel; pig, with sour cream for sauce; cold roast meat with pickled cucumbers or salad; lemons and lamprey, salt meat, ham, and Limburg cheese." "Lemons and lamprey" must have had a roughish seat, atop of pig and sour cream. I once tasted lampreys--only once. It was in Worcestershire, and said lampreys were stewed (I fancy) in burgundy, and served in a small tureen--_en casserole_, our lively neighbours would have called the production, which was grateful, but much embarrassed with richness. _Napoleon the Great_, whose tastes were simple, is said to have preferred a broiled breast of mutton to any other dinner-dish. Napoleon III., however, encouraged extravagance of living; and Zola tells us in _Le Débâcle_ that the unfortunate emperor, ill as he was, used to sit down to so many courses of rich foods every night until "the downfall" arrived at Sédan, and that a train of cooks and scullions with (literally) a "_batterie_" _de cuisine_, was attached to his staff. _Her Majesty_ Queen Victoria's dinner-table is invariably graced with a cold sirloin of beef, amongst other joints; and the same simple fare has satisfied the aspirations and gratified the palate of full many a celebrity. The great _Duke of Wellington_ was partial to a well-made Irish stew; and nothing delighted Charles Dickens more than a slice out of the breast of a hot roast-goose.