peculiar to so many seafaring men, particularly lightship-keepers like
Caleb, who have walked but little. She knew, too, the outline of the
big, fluffy beard that the wind caught and blew over his ruddy face.
No one could be like her Caleb but himself.
These chance meetings she dreaded with a fear she could not overcome.
On this last occasion, finding no concealing shelter, she had kept on,
her eyes on the ground. When Caleb had passed, his blue eyes staring
straight ahead, his face drawn and white, the lips pressed close, she
turned and looked after him, and he turned, too, and looked after
her,—these two, man and wife, within reach of each other’s arms and
lips, yet with only the longing hunger of a dead happiness in their
eyes. She could have run toward him, and knelt down in the road, and
begged him to forgive her and take her home again, had not Captain
Joe’s words restrained her: “Caleb says he ain’t got nothin’ agin ye,
child, but he won’t take ye back s’ long ’s he lives.”
Because, then, of the dread of these chance meetings, and because of
the shy looks of many of the villagers, who, despite Captain Joe’s
daily fight, still passed her with but a slight nod of recognition,
she was less unhappy when she walked the road at night than in the
daylight. The chance of being recognized was less. Caleb might pass
her in the dark and not see her, and then, too, there were fewer
people passing after dark.
On the Saturday night succeeding that on which they had met and looked
at each other, she determined to wait until it was quite dark. He
would have come in then, and she could slip out from the shop where
she worked and gain the shore road before he had finished making his
purchases in the village.
Her heart had been very heavy all day. The night before she had left
her own bed and tapped at Aunty Bell’s door, and had crept under the
coverlid beside the little woman, the captain being at the Ledge, and
had had one of her hearty cries, sobbing on the elder woman’s neck,
her arms about her, her cheek to hers. She had gone over with her for
the hundredth time all the misery of her position, wondering what
would become of her; and how hard it was for Caleb to do all his work
alone,—washing his clothes and cooking his meals just as he had done
on board the lightship; pouring out her heart until she fell asleep
from sheer exhaustion. All of her thoughts were centred in him and his
troubles. She longed to go back to Caleb to take care of him. It was
no longer to be taken care of, but to care for him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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