England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- England -- Fiction
'O never heed that! presumption will not precisely be a novelty to you;
answer me, therefore, my dear Clarendel, without all this conceit. You
know I hate procrastination; and procrastinators still worse.'
'Softly, dearest madam, softly! There is nothing in nature so horribly
shocking to me as the least hurry. My poor nerves seek repose after any
turbulent words, or jarring sounds, with the same craving for rest that
my body experiences after the jolts, and concussions of a long winded
chase. By the way, does anybody want a good hunter? I have the first,
perhaps, in Europe; but I would sell it a surprising bargain, for I am
excruciatingly tired of it.'
All the gentlemen grouped round him to hear further particulars, except
Mr. Macdersey, the young Ensign, who had so unguardedly exposed himself
at the Northwick ball, and who now, approaching Camilla, fervently
exclaimed; 'How happy I should have been, madam, if I had had the good
fortune to see you meet with that accident this morning, instead of
being looking another way! I might then have had the pleasure to assist
you. And O! how much more if it had been your divine cousin! I hope that
fair angel is in perfect health! O what a beautiful creature she is! her
outside is the completest diamond I ever saw! and if her inside is the
same, which I dare say it is, by her smiles and delicate dimples, she
must be a paragon upon earth!'
'There is at least something very inartificial in your praise,' said
General Kinsale, 'when you make your panegyric of an absent lady to a
present one.'
'O General, there is not a lady living can bear any comparison with her.
I have never had her out of my thoughts from the first darling moment
that ever I saw her, which has made me the most miserable of men ever
since. Her eyes so beautiful, her mouth so divine, her nose so
heavenly!--'
'And how,' cried Sir Sedley, 'is the tip of her chin?'
'No joking, sir!' said the Ensign, reddening; 'she is a piece of
perfection not to be laughed at; she has never had her fellow upon the
face of the earth; and she never will have it while the earth holds,
upon account of there being no such person above ground.'
'And pray,' cried Sir Sedley, carelessly, 'how can you be sure of that?'
'How! why by being certain,' answered the inflamed admirer; 'for though
I have been looking out for pretty women from morning to night, ever
since I was conscious of the right use of my eyes, I never yet saw her
parallel.'
A servant was now bringing in the tea; but his lady ordered him to set
it down in the next room, whence the gentlemen should fetch it as it was
wanted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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