Camp Fire Yarns of the Lost LegionHamilton-Browne, G.
History
Camp Fire Yarns of the Lost Legion
Hamilton-Browne, G.
Māori (New Zealand people) -- Warfare; New Zealand -- History -- Anecdotes; Zulu War, 1879
Now I must confess that although I placed great faith in both
Providence and the non-com., yet Black Care sat on my soul like a wet
blanket; and this would have been considerably enhanced had I but
known that a sudden stampede of the horses had forced away the
non-com. and his men, leaving Pierre alone in camp to work his wicked
will. All the way back in the canoes the conversation turned on
gastronomy, and his Excellency, well pleased with the day and having a
forty-dollar appetite, looked forward to his dinner, and hoped it
would be as good as the one on the previous night. I hoped so too; but
coming events cast their shadows before them, and I had my doubts.
At last we landed and climbed the steep hill that led to the flat on
which the camp was pitched. Alas! while still afar off I heard the
wild war-whoops and blood-curdling yells I knew so well, and was
assured that my very worst apprehensions were more than justified.
I at once pushed on, the Governor accompanying me, and on our reaching
the camp there was our _cordon-bleu_, armed as per usual, dancing a
war-dance that would have excited the envious admiration of a crazy
Hau Hau.
The Governor paused for a moment, and stood aghast in astonishment at
the horrible-looking object before us, then full of pluck, for of
course he did not know how utterly harmless the old fellow was, rushed
up to him and said soothingly: "Pierre, how goes the dinner?"
Pierre briefly answered that the dinner had gone to a place where it
must have been overcooked and spoilt long ago.
But quoth his Excellency: "I am so hungry."
"And a ruddy good job too," howled Pierre. "It is good for kings and
governors to be hungry. I myself am Pierre de Feugeron, the great
Communist. I myself am Pierre de Feugeron, the noble anarchist, and I
scorn to cook the dinners of kings and governors."
Then seeing the rest of the party, who by this time had arrived and
were regarding him with awe and astonishment, he at once consigned the
Governor and the rest of us to the same place as he had committed the
dinner, and was proceeding with his _pas seul_ when some Maoris,
acting on my instructions, took a hand in the game. Exit the noble
anarchist, to be tied to a tree for the night, to regain his loyalty,
while I had to bustle about to knock up an impromptu dinner for my
sorrowing and shocked guests.
Chapter XVII
A South Sea Bubble
"So we found no copper island, nor rapid fortunes made,
But by strictly honest trading a dividend we paid.
And Maori Browne converted, with an ancient flint-lock gun,
A mob of ruddy pagans, beneath the southern sun."
I was in Auckland with a lot of spare time on my hands. I had come
down-country intending to go over to Australia, but, having been stuck
up by a flooded river for two days, I had missed my boat, and
consequently was planted there, as boats at that time were neither so
numerous nor ran so often as they do now.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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