I observed in the herbage a number of weather-worn stones, evidently
shaped with tools. They were broken, covered with moss and half sunken
in the earth. Some lay prostrate, some leaned at various angles, none
was vertical. They were obviously headstones of graves, though the
graves themselves no longer existed as either mounds or depressions; the
years had leveled all. Scattered here and there, more massive blocks
showed where some pompous tomb or ambitious monument had once flung its
feeble defiance at oblivion. So old seemed these relics, these vestiges
of vanity and memorials of affection and piety, so battered and worn and
stained—so neglected, deserted, forgotten the place, that I could not
help thinking myself the discoverer of the burial-ground of a prehistoric
race of men whose very name was long extinct.
Filled with these reflections, I was for some time heedless of the
sequence of my own experiences, but soon I thought, “How came I hither?”
A moment’s reflection seemed to make this all clear and explain at the
same time, though in a disquieting way, the singular character with which
my fancy had invested all that I saw or heard. I was ill. I remembered
now that I had been prostrated by a sudden fever, and that my family had
told me that in my periods of delirium I had constantly cried out for
liberty and air, and had been held in bed to prevent my escape
out-of-doors. Now I had eluded the vigilance of my attendants and had
wandered hither to—to where? I could not conjecture. Clearly I was at a
considerable distance from the city where I dwelt—the ancient and famous
city of Carcosa.
No signs of human life were anywhere visible nor audible; no rising
smoke, no watch-dog’s bark, no lowing of cattle, no shouts of children at
play—nothing but that dismal burial-place, with its air of mystery and
dread, due to my own disordered brain. Was I not becoming again
delirious, there beyond human aid? Was it not indeed _all_ an illusion
of my madness? I called aloud the names of my wives and sons, reached
out my hands in search of theirs, even as I walked among the crumbling
stones and in the withered grass.
A noise behind me caused me to turn about. A wild animal—a lynx—was
approaching. The thought came to me: If I break down here in the
desert—if the fever return and I fail, this beast will be at my throat.
I sprang toward it, shouting. It trotted tranquilly by within a hand’s
breadth of me and disappeared behind a rock.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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