Cape Cod (Mass.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
“Mr. Wingate,” says he, “it's a deal. I'm going to go you, though I
think you're plunging on a hundred-to-one shot. Some day I'll tell you
more about myself, maybe. But now I'm going to take your advice and
the position. I'll do my best, and I must say you're a brick. Thanks
awfully.”
“Good enough!” I says. “Now you go and tell her, and I'll write the
letter to Dillaway.”
So the next forenoon Peter T. Brown was joyful all up one side because
Mabel had said she'd stay, and mournful all down the other because his
pet college giant had quit almost afore he started. I kept my mouth
shut, that being the best play I know of, nine cases out of ten.
I went up to the depot with Jonesy to see him off.
“Good-by, old man,” he says, shaking hands. “You'll write me once in a
while, telling me how she is, and--and so on?”
“Bet you!” says I. “I'll keep you posted up. And let's hear how you
tackle the Consolidated Cash business.”
July and the first two weeks in August moped along and everything at the
Old Home House kept about the same. Mabel was in mighty good spirits,
for her, and she got prettier every day. I had a couple of letters from
Jones, saying that he guessed he could get bookkeeping through his skull
in time without a surgical operation, and old Dillaway was down over one
Sunday and was preaching large concerning the “find” my candidate was
for the Providence branch. So I guessed I hadn't made no mistake.
I had considerable fun with Cap'n Jonadab over his not landing a rich
husband for the Seabury girl. Looked like the millionaire crop was going
to be a failure that summer.
“Aw, belay!” says he, short as baker's pie crust. “The season ain't over
yet. You better take a bath in the salt mack'rel kag; you're too fresh
to keep this hot weather.”
Talking “husband” to him was like rubbing pain-killer on a scalded pup,
so I had something to keep me interested dull days. But one morning he
comes to me, excited as a mouse at a cat show, and says he:
“Ah, ha! what did I tell you? I've got one!”
“I see you have,” says I. “Want me to send for the doctor?”
“Stop your foolishing,” he says. “I mean I've got a millionaire. He's
coming to-night, too. One of the biggest big-bugs there is in New York.
Ah, ha! what did I tell you?”
He was fairly boiling over with gloat, but from between the bubbles I
managed to find out that the new boarder was a big banker from New
York, name of Van Wedderburn, with a barrel of cash and a hogshead of
dyspepsy. He was a Wall Street “bear,” and a steady diet of lamb with
mint sass had fetched him to where the doctors said 'twas lay off for
two months or be laid out for keeps.
“And I've fixed it that he's to stop at your house, Barzilla,” crows
Jonadab. “And when he sees Mabel--well, you know what she's done to the
other men folks,” he says.
“Humph!” says I, “maybe he's got dyspepsy of the heart along with the
other kind. She might disagree with him. What makes you so cock sartin?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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