Cape Cod (Mass.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
'Twas fair weather for pretty near a fortni't, and then she thickened
up. The special brand of craziness in Wellmouth that season was
collecting “antiques,” the same being busted chairs and invalid bureaus
and sofys that your great grandmarm got ashamed of and sent to the
sickbay a thousand year ago. Oh, yes, and dishes! If there was one thing
that would drive a city woman to counting her fingers and cutting paper
dolls, 'twas a nicked blue plate with a Chinese picture on it. And the
homelier the plate the higher the price. Why there was as many as six
families that got enough money for the rubbage in their garrets to
furnish their houses all over with brand new things--real shiny,
hand-painted stuff, not haircloth ruins with music box springs, nor
platters that you had to put a pan under for fear of losing cargo.
I don't know who fetched the disease to the Old Home House. All I'm
sartain of is that 'twan't long afore all hands was in that condition
where the doctor'd have passed 'em on to the parson. First along it
seemed as if the Thompson-Small syndicate had been vaccinated--they
didn't develop a symptom. But one noon the Dowager sails into the
dining-room and unfurls a brown paper bundle.
“I've captured a prize, my dear,” says she to the Duchess. “A veritable
prize. Just look!”
And she dives under the brown paper hatches and resurrects a pink plate,
suffering from yaller jaundice, with the picture of a pink boy, wearing
curls and a monkey-jacket, holding hands with a pink girl with pointed
feet.
“Ain't it perfectly lovely?” says she, waving the outrage in front of
the Duchess. “A ginuwine Hall nappy! And in SUCH condition!”
“Why,” says the Duchess, “I didn't know you were interested in
antiques.”
“I dote on 'em,” comes back the Dowager, and “my daughter” owned up that
she “adored” 'em.
“If you knew,” continues Mrs. Thompson, “how I've planned and contrived
to get this treasure. I've schemed--My! my! My daughter says she's
actually ashamed of me. Oh, no! I can't tell even you where I got it.
All's fair in love and collecting, you know, and there are more gems
where this came from.”
She laughed and “my daughter” laughed, and the Duchess and “Irene dear”
laughed, too, and said the plate was “SO quaint,” and all that, but
you could fairly hear 'em turn green with jealousy. It didn't need a
spyglass to see that they wouldn't ride easy at their own moorings till
THEY'D landed a treasure or two--probably two.
And sure enough, in a couple of days they bore down on the Thompsons,
all sail set and colors flying. They had a pair of plates that for
ugliness and price knocked the “ginuwine Hall nappy” higher 'n the main
truck. And the way they crowed and bragged about their “finds” wa'n't
fit to put in the log. The Dowager and “my daughter” left that dinner
table trembling all over.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account