He yearned over Camilla just as if she had been a child. He diverted
his interest, the purpose of his life, from all former channels;
henceforward it should be planned to run as she would have it run. He
had no longer doubt as to her judgment; he imagined that he was
beginning to understand her now.
Just because she had shown a desire to be at Yelverton, and to turn
away from all the people whom he had regarded as being so injurious to
her, he told himself that all those little things (about which he had
troubled so sharply) had merely been the outcome of circumstances, and
that she was now drifting into her proper, her natural mental
condition. It sometimes angered Camilla that he should suppose she was
so malleable, but for the most part she regarded his satisfaction as
being satisfactory for herself also.
"As long as he is pleased, what does anything else matter?" she said
now and then to herself. "He has paid a long price for me, so it would
be rank hard luck if he felt he had made a bad bargain."
She stood now a little while at the window of the sitting-room, and
then roused herself.
"A walk will do me good," she said; "I will go and meet them." She put
on her furs, and went slowly downstairs to the large, cosy hall,
stopping on her way out to chat a few minutes with Mr. Brenton, a tall,
thin, careworn-looking man, who lived for the most part in the clouds,
and was never so happy as when he and his wife were at Yelverton alone.
He was known all over the country as a collector of old and rare books,
and also as an enthusiastic rather than a judicious purchaser. There
were tons of useless volumes lumbering the upper storeys of the house,
and still they continued to come. But dreamer and bookworm as he was,
Dick Brenton had a place in his heart for all those who were dear to
his wife, and he was very fond of Camilla Lancing. He always said her
beauty was so helpful, so illuminating; and he adored her children.
As she passed into the damp and rather dismal grounds, Camilla's
thoughts turned as usual to the coming future. The nearer the time
approached the more she longed to postpone the marriage.
"Surely I ought to be able to invent something to give me a little more
time," she said to herself; and just for an instant it crossed her mind
how helpful it would be if the children could have some slight ailment;
but she immediately took herself to task for this.
"God forgive me!" she said. And she shivered at the bare thought of
what an illness to either of these loved little creatures would mean to
her. Still, she craved to keep her freedom. At the same time, she
realized that an indefinite engagement was out of the question. The
man's very goodness and generosity forced upon her a duty to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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